Old Version of Leathered Bound Diary
by dani1692
Summary: What happened in Lily's past resulted in her living with the Potters? And why is Lily's heart beating faster than usual? Well you'll have to read and review to find out. - Hiatus Forever
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: If people like the story, which requires reviews to tell me so, I will continue on with the story. So please review.

*-New Update- *(4/15/09) I have a new beta (Girl-X-91)… and she was awesome enough to edit the first chapter for me. No other beta has done that for me before. So muchas gracias to Girl-X-91. So on with the show. And remember to review and critique. I'm always open for critiques and/or suggestions.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter I wish I did. Nevertheless, I do not.

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I sat in the compartment of the Hogwarts express, waiting for it to leave the station to take me back to school, back to a place where I will feel normal once again. I look at the Black leather bound diary in my hands. Elizabeth told me I should write in it when I felt ready to do so. Since there is no one in the compartment with me, and it will be a long time until we get to Hogwarts I decide that now will be a better time than ever to write in it. I opened to the first page, it was beautiful, perfect, I don't want to ruin the first page with my handwriting, so instead I turn to the second page, which in reality is the third page. I rummage around in my Knapsack that I have brought along with me for a pen or a quill that I can use to write.

I find a quill and begin slowly.

_Hogwarts Express_

_Wednesday, September 1, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_The reason that I am writing in you is just because James Potter's mother, Elizabeth, suggested writing in a diary. She said that it would help to let my feelings out, seeing that they are so called "hidden from the world", by the so-called wall that I have built up, that makes me not reveal any of my horrendous memories and emotions to anyone. Including, the acquaintance I now live with, James Potter. Who has suddenly become my first and only friend. In case you are wondering why as of this time I am living with James Potter, it is because something terrible that has happened in the past 5 months or so. This left me living with the lovely Potters and that so-called barrier or wall, building up inside my mind._

Now that I have started to write it is becoming easier to let the pen flow.

_I have also heard James saying that the once happy sparkle in my bright green eyes has tragically left and replaced with absolutely nothing._

_I believe you may be wondering now what the terrible thing was that happened the past. I will not tell you now because I am not ready to tell you, a black leathered bound diary, my deepest, darkest secrets. Nevertheless, once I am ready to tell my only friend. I will first write it all down, to gather up my thoughts. Then I will tell James my story and sob into his muscular shoulder. Well that is the grand old plan._

_You may be wondering who James Potter is. Seeing as you are just a book filled with a mere two-hundred pages of blank lined paper. James Potter is a boy who goes to school with me. Oh, yeah I forgot, I am a witch who goes to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As I said before James is a fellow classmate and he is also a fellow Gryffindor. He has unruly ebony black hair and melt worthy hazel eyes. Every person in Hogwarts either: adores him, loves him, worships him, envies him, and/or hates him with pure hatred. Well to explain all feelings toward him, let us just say he is the most popular kid in the school. He is handsome, if I do not say it myself, a smirk, as well as his hazel eyes, that melts all the girls hearts and maybe some chosen boys. He is the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and fellow chaser. He is intelligent and is the top student in most of our classes, except Potions and Charms, which I hold the title. I believe that may be it. Oh, wait there is one more thing. He is the co-leader of the Marauders._

_The Marauders is a group of four friends that has shared a bond ever since they met in Zonkos right before our first year began. They are all in Gryffindor, as am I, and 3 out of 4 of them are the hottest guys in the school. That is what I have heard anyway from listening to) the gossiping girls in my dorm, (unintentionally, when I can't sleep because of the noise they are making. I swear it is like torture, I mean you can only put up with hearing 'they are the hottest guys in the school' so many times before you want to crack, and I have to put up with it every single night. _

_The Maurders also are very bright without even touching a book. Except one of the boys, who lives in the library all the time. Each of these four boys has very different personalities but they share the same love in pranking. That is what people see from just taking a glance at them. However, I believe that their friendship has a strong bond that is made of the numerous secrets that the four boys share._

_In case you are wondering, the Maurders consist of Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and of course James Potter. Like I said before all of these boys have very different personalities and of course traits, which makes the Maurders, well the Maurders. I should describe them all, but right now I am really lazy._

_I think I forgotten to write something, oh yeah a description of myself. My name is Lily Jane Evans. I am 16 years old and I am a 6th_ _year at Hogwarts. I am on the Quidditch team as a chaser. People know my name but I am not popular, I do not have any true friends. James Potter might become a true friend to me in the future, but let us not jinx it. I have auburn hair and bright green eyes. I am quite tall; I am 5'6, compared to most girls in my year. I am also a prefect and well of course, I am smart. All the teachers adore me. I have had no friends for the past 5 years except Severus, but I am not thinking of him anymore after what he said to me..._

_James is the first person to notice me. He took notice to the girls in my dorm who have been tormenting me, and did something about it. They were bullying me and making fun of me ever since..._

_I hear someone opening the compartment door. Therefore, I will write in you soon._

_Lily_

I closed my diary, as the compartment door opened to reveal the Marauders.

"We have been looking for you everywhere," James said. He walked into my compartment.

"Actually it was just him," Sirius stated. James then hit him on the head as he sat down across from me. His eyes lingered on the diary.

"I see you have taken the advice from my dear mother, and started writing in a diary," James noted.

"Yes," I said.

"Oh, you write in a diary. Let me see," Sirius sat down next to me and tried to grab it. Nevertheless, no avail, he never took possession of it.

"No," I said sternly.

"Why? I want to read," Sirius, said.

"Wow, that is the first time I heard those words," Remus said as he sat down next to James. He placed his book bag on the floor and pulled one of his books out.

"I thought you were allergic to books Sirius," I asked.

"To clear the air, I am allergic to libraries, not books. One time I went in there and I started coughing and sneezing up a storm," Sirius said. _**What, he has to be kidding me.**_

"How does that relate to books?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I just don't want that to ever happen again so I prefer not to chance reading the books," Sirius said.

"OK," I said. Sirius then pulled out his pile of candies from his pocket and started breathing them down.

"Shouldn't we be heading down for the perfects meeting?" Remus asked.

"I think so," I said. I picked up my knapsack and placed my diary in it.

"Lily-kins aren't you going to leave your knapsack here. It looks awfully heavy, and I don't mind watching it while you walk all the way to the other end of the train. It is such a loooonng way and all, wouldn't you like to leave it with me?" Sirius asked.

"Na, I have to build more muscle for Quidditch. So why not carry around an awfully heavy knapsack to help build more," I said as I slipped out of the compartment with Remus heading toward the meeting.

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Authors Note: Review Please :) If I had any grammar or spelling, mistakes please tell me. In addition, if any sentences did not make any sense you can tell me that too. One more thing, if it is really boring write that in the review, I just hate reading boring fan fictions or ones that don't catch my eye. I will try to make it more exciting in the next few chapters.

*-New Update-* (4/15/09) Remember the three Rs of Fan Fiction… Review, Review, Review


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Please Review at the end my faithful readers. I find it very unkind for people who read stories that authors have slaved over for you enjoyment just for barely no reviews. So for now on I am going to review every story I read, just like you should. With the review please tell me if I have any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes. Hope you enjoy. Oh yah thank you for all those wonderful reviews for those people who did review.

Disclaimer: Do not own any of the characters that J.K. Rowling created. I do own the writing that I made up called Lost Ideas, but that is all I own.

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_After the Perfects Meeting, _

_Wednesday, September 1, 1976 _

_Dear Diary, _

_The boring Perfect meeting is finally over. I am free, until the next Perfect Meeting, which is in a month from now. _

_As of right now, I am sitting in my compartment with the extremely boisterous and distracting Marauders, writing. I know it is somewhat risky, for me to be writing with Sirius peering over my shoulder; trying to read my bloody writing. Which I strictly do not allow, my words are well private, for my eyes only. However, what bloody amazes me, is the fact that Sirius wants to read my diary. When he refuses to pick up any other book and read. _

_You know what, I am going to write in you, in a dandy old place called the library. Sirius never comes in the library, he will never be able to read my diary now. He stated just before I left for the extremely boring Prefects Meeting, that he was allergic of the library, which makes him allergic to books as he ridiculously said to out loud. I have had a sudden realization, why am I writing about Sirius and his absurd problems, when I should be stating my own problems and feelings. Oh, I know why because Sirius is peering over my shoulder trying to read my god dam writing. Can you hold on a second? Oh never mind you are a non-living object, you can hold on for a second or maybe longer._

I hastily close my diary and turn to face Sirius," Sirius what are you doing?"

"Reading," he simply said.

"It's fine by my means that you are reading, but can you read something else? Like a real book for instance," I ask politely.

"No, I like reading your crazy, idiotic words," he says.

"Fine then," I get up from where I was sitting and push James off his seat he once preoccupied, he fell off the seat with a thud.

"Ouch," James rubbed his rear bottom.

"Sorry James," I say as he got up from the floor and sat down next to me.

"Just wondering James, can I trust you not to read my delicate and precious words?" I ask nicely.

"Yah," he smiled._**Sigh, his smile is so dreamy and melt worthy. Oh, look at how shiny and pearly white his teeth are. AHHH, why am I thinking these absurd thoughts, Note to self do not think absurd thoughts anymore. These absurd thoughts make my thoughts defined as crazy, which I already am. **_

I open my diary again and find the page that I was on before Sirius horrendously disturbed me. I pick up my pen and try to think of what to write next. I start to chew on my pen cap, which left disgusting bite marks. _**AHHH, I have no clue what to write. I may have writers block. Maybe I should write about my writer's block that could work.**_

_Sorry, about before, but after that tragic event, it made me loose my train of thought and now I declare I have writer's block. To get rid of this terrible writer block my mother, mommy, **deceased mum**, mama, madre has told me to write about it in order to unblock it. I will do that, but make it like a piece of writing for possible showings (aka Curious Sirius)_

_**Lost Ideas**_

_**Every time I want to write after my mind goes crazy thinking up a brilliant, but still crazy idea. I pick up my notebook, the one with the blue cover that has been brusquely ripped off, and turn to a page that has not been tormented by my dreadful words. I grab my sword; fine a pen, nevertheless, have not you ever heard of the saying "A pen is mightier than a sword", which does not relate to what I am writing about. Therefore, as I place my black inked pen on the piece of paper, the Hogwarts Train, fine my unexciting train of thought goes off the track. Now my idea is lost. Whoa, I think I have a serious case of Writer's Block. However, as I am writing this paragraph, short story, thought, or whatever it may be called, am I not writing, am I not breaking down those unspeakable walls of Writer's Block with these small, but dominant words. However, as soon I am done with this piece of writing, I will go to bed seeing, as it is 1:10 am and think up yet another brilliant, but crazy idea. I will have that idea stuck in my head and drift off into a dreamless, thoughtless sleep. When I wake up at 11 in the morning or whenever my mother decides to wake me up I will pick up my tattered notebook and try to start to write. Nevertheless, as my pen touches the paper, my idea has slipped my mind yet again, into my humungous world of lost ideas, and yes, I need my own world to fit all my lost ideas. That is how many I have lost.**_

_Yah I know it is not one o'clock in the mourning as of this moment. Nevertheless, it does give an effect off this piece of writing._

_Whoa, the writing about writer's block does break down those walls of writers block. I think I am cure, now I can write all my emotions and secrets down. Oh, wait I still have that other supposed wall that covers up my emotions that has to be broken down. Moreover, writing in you will not bring it down. Elizabeth warned me that someone, a person to be exact, has to break it down before I am able to write it down, or confess it to the world. I hope that day comes soon, I just feel lonely and depressed without anybody to speak too. Except for you, diary, but you cannot comfort me or talk to me. Unless you are a magical diary, which you are capable to write back to me in order to comfort me, which be so cool. It could happen, seeing I do live in the magical world. Nevertheless, alas you are just a black leather bound diary filled with paper, which has no characteristics to make you a living thing. _

"Lily we are arriving in Hogsmeade soon, better put away your diary," James says as I lift my emerald green eyes off the page that I was writing on and stare into his. _**For some reason my heartbeat is increasing. Note to self, go to Madam **__**Pomfrey**__** to make sure I have nothing wrong with my heart.**_

I shifted my eyes off staring at his eyes and looked at Sirius. _**Do my eyes betray me is he reading a book?**_

"Is that Sirius reading a book?" I ask Remus.

"Yes," Remus answers.

_Guess what I just saw Sirius reading a book, never knew he can read one. Well I must be off, the train will be arriving in Hogsmeade in a few minutes and I have to help unload all of the Hogwartarians with Remus. I will write in you before I drift off into my haunting dreams tonight._

_Lily_

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Authors Note: Review pretty please with a cherry on top. 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thanks to all the people who kindly reviewed for the last chapter, which was sadly only 2 people. I might start to cry from the lacking of reviews. Oh ya sorry for the wait for this update. I was really busy this past week. But the end result from this wait was you all get to have a longer chapter. Yeah !!!! One last thought, did anybody notice the clue from the last chapter that may of told about Lily's horrible past. If you caught it you may tell me if you did by reviewing. Oh ya, the more reviews the faster the chapters will be posted.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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The students scrambled into the Great Hall, sitting down waiting for the tiny first years to get sorted in their respectable Houses. As of this moment, I sat next to James and the rest of the Marauders. Remus sat across from me, looking all pale and sickly as ever. He caught me staring at him and smiled. The doors finally opened revealing all those cute, scared first years. They walked down to the sorting hat, with McGonagall leading them to it. They stopped in front of the sorting hat, Dumbledore stood up. 

"Welcome back to a brand new year at Hogwarts..." and that is when I tuned out Dumbledore's same old speech from the years before. I turned to James who looked as uninterested as I am in the same old speech.

"Don't you think Dumbledore should change his speech once in awhile?" I whispered to James.

"Yeah, "James whispered back, "It even puts Sirius to sleep."

I peered over James' shoulder and saw Sirius with his head on the table, sleeping.

"… Let the sorting begin." I heard Dumbledore say.

* * *

The Gryffindors got a fair share of new Gryffindors. If I recall right from the sorting, one of the first years, Bill Weasley has bright red hair and blue eyes. He also has freckles all over his face he is so cute. Right now, I am eating my dessert, a German Chocolate Cupcake, yum. The elves have been getting better at cooking over the summer. 

I finish my cupcake and all of the food disappears, I wanted more dessert. Dumbledore speaks up again, "Well it is time to tuck in. Perfects take your houses first years to their new dorms."

I stand up, picking my knapsack along the way. Sirius is eying me; I see that he is still interested in stealing my diary.

I walk up to the first years, Remus following me at my tail/

"My name is Lily Evans and this is..." Remus cut me off.

"I am Remus Lupin," Remus smiles.

"We are here to take you to the Gryffindor Common Room. Come on follow me," I say. I start walking; in the corner of my eye, I see James and Sirius at the entrance of the Great Hall.

"Shouldn't you be in the Common Room?" I ask James.

"We want to introduce ourselves to the firsties," James says.

"You can do that later," I say.

"Then can we help you take them to the Common Room?" James asks.

"Fine," I say.

"Come on follow me," I say.

* * *

Just under an hour ago e finally reach the common room. The Marauders scrambled off somewhere and right now, I am lying on the couch in front of the fire. I pick up my diary from my knapsack and see if Sirius is any where in site. I do not see him. 

I open my diary and write:

_At Night, in the Gryffindor Common Room_

_Wednesday, September 1, 1976_

_Dear Diary, _

_The Train arrived in Hogsmeade just under 4 hours ago. As of this moment, I am sitting in the barren Common Room writing in you. Just three hours ago, I was sitting in the Great Hall listening to Dumbledore's speech, which he says after the sorting. I listen very intently to that one, but not the one before the sorting. That one is very boring and he says it every single year. Well this year's speech was about the war and how even though we may have one we can always find happiness all around us. That is what the hidden meaning of the speech was. The words Dumbledore said was very different from the meaning I just told you. _

_As I am writing this, I feel relieved to be back at Hogwarts. I rather bury myself in my studies and Quidditch than think about my past. Still when I go to sleep every night I will still think about my past, even when I fall asleep. _

_Over the summer, right after it happened, I used to dream about it, I used to wake up screaming with beads of sweat dripping down my body; my heart beat racing as well. _

_When that happened James would run into my room; take me into his safe, muscular arms and say comforting words until the tears stopped and I fall asleep. He would always question in the mourning of what I dreamed about but I never told him. I think Elizabeth and Charles Potter may now a bit of my story as well as Dumbledore. However, they all do not know what has happened. _

_Now let us go back to when James would comfort me. Well one time I was screaming in my sleep, James came to wake me up, and yet again, he would bring me into his arms. I would always feel safe in his arm, which is one thing I never told him. Speaking of James, he just walked into the common room with his posse. Therefore, that means I have to stop writing in you before Sirius comes over to read. Write in you tomorrow bye. _

_Lily_

I close the book quickly before Sirius saw me writing in it.

"Hey Lily," James said as he sat down next to me.

"I think I might head up," Remus said, "Night, Lily."

"Hey, you say night to her but not your best mate?" Sirius yelled.

"Won't I be seeing you once you head to sleep?" Remus asked as he ascended the staircases toward the boys' dorm rooms with Sirius following closely behind him.

I place my legs on top of James lap and rest my head on the armrest.

"What am I a foot rest?" James asks.

"Yes, a comfortable one as well" I stare into the burning fire.

"What's the matter Lily?" James sees my distraught face.

"Nothing," James raises an eyebrow, "OK maybe something is wrong."

"Are you ready to tell me yet?" I shook her head.

"No, I am just worried how I might be awakening from those dreams," I said.

"Well if you do you are allowed in my dorm anytime," James smiles.

"Can I confess something to you," James nods," Well during the summer when I was awaken from those dreams, when you took me into your arms. I felt like I was safe once again, like no one could hurt me."

"Hum," James says, "Well I want to protect you from all those bad things that happen in your life. But the only way to do so is if you trust me and open your heart to me."

"I do trust you, I just don't trust the rest of the world," I lift my legs up from James' lap and gather my knees up against my body. I just stare at the fire, while James stares at me. I can feel James move closer to me. I finally collapse into his arms and cry; just cry my heart out.

* * *

I hear the chirping of the birds, must be mourning. I slowly open my eyes and realize I am not in the dorms; I am in the common room. I feel someone's arms around my body. I turn my head and see a sleeping James with his muscular arms around me. Ah, he is a comfortable pillow as well as a foot rest. My eyes slowly close yet again.

* * *

I feel someone poking me with a stick, erg. I open one eye and see Sirius poking me with his wand. 

"What are you doing?" I said to Sirius.

"Seeing if you are dead or not?" Sirius says.

"Dolt, why are you in the Girls Dorms?" I ask Sirius.

"I am not in the Girls Dorms and neither are you," Sirius says as he sits in the seat next to the couch I was, on top of.

"Oh I knew that," I try to get up but something strong and muscular is holding me back. I turn my head and see James, sleeping.

"James wake up," I nudge James in the shoulder. He does not budge. I nudge him again.

"5 more minutes' mom," James turns his body, which causes me to turn with him.

"DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER, JAMES," I yell. This wakes him up and he suddenly releases me, which makes me end up on the floor. I could hear Sirius laughing behind me. I turn my body and glare at him, which ends his boisterous laughing.

"Where did Lily go?" James asks Sirius. Sirius starts to laugh again, but this time it sounds more like a bark.

"Down here," I say as I try to push myself off the ground. However, no avail I fell back down to the ground. At this sight, James quickly comes to my rescue.

"Thanks," I tell James as he pulls me up.

"No problem," he tells me.

"I can't believe we fell asleep in the Common Room together on the same couch," I say aloud.

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Authors Note: REVIEW PLEASE. Thank you for reading. One last comment, please tell me if their is any grammar mistakes or spelling errors if you see any of them. 


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: Sorry for the wait. I am so pleased that I have received 14 reviews so far. happy dance Thank you for all those reviews.

I just have one question for all those faithful reviewers or future reviewers. If it is possible with your reviewer, or anybody who writes on this website and has experience with this process, can anybody tell me how the "beta" process is done? Yeah, I am thinking about getting a beta, I only know they are used for having a story edited. Which I may need for this story and a future one (the first chapter is done for that one but it needs editing, and a lot of it) So if anybody is interested tell me with your review or send me a message. Thank you for anybody who offers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and its characters, J.K. Rowling does.

* * *

Yawn, getting sleepy, you want to know why? Well my teacher Professor Binns is the most boring teacher in the world, or at Hogwarts. He teaches History of Magic which could be interesting but with his monotones voice he has made it boring. Did I mention that he is a ghost as well? Well he is and the first teacher to become a ghost while teaching at Hogwarts. (It is a long story, which I am too lazy to tell you all.) 

I yawn yet again, but this time it was a very loud yawn. Which everybody heard, except for the teacher? Now everybody is staring at me, I glare at every single on looker. Oh, wait there is another person who was oblivious to the gargantuan yawn. Guess who might that be. Yeah, its Sirius, who at this moment is sitting next to me. He thought that he would be able to take a peak at my diary while I was writing in it. However, he thought wrong, well maybe later I would write in it. Seeing that he is asleep and …, wait he is drooling. His drool is dripping down his cheek. I think I might hear soft snores coming out of his mouth, priceless.

I quickly glance and see that everybody has turned his or her attention somewhere else other than me. I pull out my diary and my favorite quill. With my favorite ink, it is the same color as my eyes, which is emerald.

_In Binns Class__  
_

_Thursday, September 2, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_I know it is risky writing in you right now. (I know it is the same sentence from my other entry but it is a true event) The reason for why it is risky is that Sirius is sitting / sleeping right next to me in History of Magic. Nevertheless, I will take a chance and write in you until Sirius is awaken, the bell rings, or the Professor noticing that I am not taking notes. Nevertheless, the chance of that happening is one to a Million, seeing that Binns is a ghost, and unaware to anything that happens during his boring class. I see people having a full make out session. In addition, does he stop it, no, once I saw them, (Sirius and random slutty girl #1) get on the tables and pull a full make out session. It was disgusting, they almost took off all their clothes, and I shudder at the memory. _

_Anyways, from the last time I wrote in you, which was last night. Not that many tragic or happy events happened. Unless you count that, I fell asleep on James Potter's muscular body, after I cried my heart out on his shoulder. (See dreams really do come true, including those dreams was you see someone hurting you both emotionally and physically. That is another story, for another diary entry)_

_Well, last night I was so close in telling James what has happened to me, but I am not ready to tell him even though my problem may not be as tragic as it comes out to be. Oh wait, maybe one of the many parts of my story is tragic. _

_The following mourning, which would be today, I awoke in James arms. In addition, I felt safe for once, as if I belonged somewhere. As well, I felt something funny in my stomach; I probably should go to Madame Pomfrey to ask what is wrong. _

_Alas, the time has ended, aka the bell just rung. Write in you later, Tootles._

_Lily_

I close my diary and put it away. I look over and see if Sirius is awake, which he is not. I pull my wand out and nudge him with it. He does not awake from the nudge, time for payback. An evil grin plays upon my pretty face.

"Lily, why the evil grin?" James asks.

I smile innocently, batting my long eyelashes at the same time, "Nothing."

James turns his back, I flick my wand and Sirius is wet, a bucket of freezing cold water has been, magically poured on his sleeping body.

He suddenly jolts up, glaring at me evilly.

* * *

I walk into the library. Yah I know it is a bit early to be in the library but it is the only place, Sirius will not come in. He has been trying to get me back for the prank I did this mourning. Yah, it was only water, oh wait in addition to the water I did more evil things to him, which I will not mention because from those pranks Sirius and me have detentions with McGonagall tonight at 8 o'clock. 

I sit down at a table and pull out my diary and my favorite quill.

_In the library_

_Thursday, September 2, 1976 _

_Dear Diary,_

_I am finally in the library to write, in you without Sirius pestering me. After History Magic ended, I had pranked Sirius as payback for this mourning –_

I heard a commotion coming from the entrance of the library I look up and see Sirius. He is having his suppose allergy attack, aka he is sneezing up a storm from the dust particles in the air. He is heading over to my table. As he walks, he knocks into this Bill Weasley, whom has a big pile of books stacked in his hands, and knocks him over. Moreover, without helping the kid up or helping Bill collect his books, which have toppled over. Sirius continues walking and sneezing.

Wait, hold on, he, the infamous Sirius Orion Black, is in the library, I thought he never comes into the library. He comes up to me, despite the fact the continually sneezing. He stops and stares at the open diary, I stare at him. He stares at the diary and in one fluid motion; he snatches the diary from under my nose. He starts running away from me, going into the aisles of the library. I quickly run after him.

"BLACK, GIVE BACK MY DAMN DIARY THIS INSTANCE," I yell throughout the library while running after him.

"NEVER," Sirius yells wildly.

I am on his tail when Madam Pince sees us running around. She yells at us, but when do we ever listen to her words. I finally catch up to Sirius and jump on him he falls down. I am straddling him right now.

"Lily," I look up. James is right in front of me with a frightened look on his face.

"What?" I ask.

"Um, what are you doing to Sirius?" James asks.

"Straddling him," I say innocently.

"I hope you have a good reason for straddling him," James says.

"He stole my diary," I pretend to cry, damn no tears.

"Sirius give her diary back," James commanded.

"No," Sirius eyes are literally, glued to words on the pages. He is reading my precious private words. I quietly sob, still no tears.

"Sirius," James pleads, "give it back, now."

"Fine, I already read everything," he gives me my diary and my mouth drops.

"How dare you?" I start to whack him with my precious diary. James finally tries to pull me off him, but lucky for me he was not able to.

"Miss Evans, what are you doing?" Professor McGonagall stares at us at our strange odd position.

"He stole my diary and read it," I start to cry real tears. Everyone starts to stare at my weirdness and I finally get off Sirius. I cry louder, but this time into James muscular shoulder. Score, my wish came true twice! I grin into his shoulder, while crying.

I am so dramatic and such a great actor.

* * *

Authors Note: Review please. Constructive Criticism is welcome, and a warm review as well. Thanks for reading and reviewing. 


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, I know it has been under 2 weeks, since I updated the last time, but I have been in Vermont, with my cousins. They have no internet connection so I could not post a new update. Well just, remember to read and review. Thank you too all of who reviewed. One last note, have a Happy New Years and the next time I will update will be in 2008. See you then. 

One last note, I gave you a special treat today for this update. I combined two chapters together because the second one was too short for an update and I really wanted to put one of the scenes up into this chapter. Anyways, this chapter has about 3,298 words and it is eight pages long. Therefore, I hope this gets a lot reviews or I will go back to the normal 1,900 words.

Note that one part in this chapter is a bit gruesome for the rating of K+. Please tell me if it is so I can change the rating to T. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.

* * *

Two bloody detentions with Black that is the price I have to pay. For, getting back at Sirius for the things he has done to me. I never get detentions, until the day I befriended James. Now that I have my diary back and I now know that writing in the library idea is not in existence; I have no where to write anymore. Oh, yah did I, mention that Sirius has read all those bloody words in my diary.

Note to self, ask him not tell a bloody soul what I wrote, especially James. I could tell him now, seeing that I am scrubbing all these bloody trophies in the trophy room. Nevertheless, I have vowed a vow of silence against him. Right now I am scrubbing one of James' varies quidditch trophies. Did you know he has about 12 trophies in here so far? You want to know how many trophies I have gotten so far, one stinking trophies. For Great Sportsmanship, no wonder he is Quidditch Captain this year.

"Evans, are you ok?" Sirius asks me. I turn my attention to him.

"Yes," I say bitterly.

"I am sorry for reading your diary," he says mechanically, my eyebrows raise.

"Did James make you say that?" I ask.

"Yes," he admits. I roll my eyes.

"Can you just do one thing for me?" he nods," Never, tell anyone what I have written?"

"Fine," Sirius says, "Just one question, you really do find being in James strong muscular arms, safe?"

He mocked me. I glare at him.

"Yes," I say to him.

* * *

"How was detention?" James asked me as I sat down on the same couch we were sleeping on this mourning.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," I yell as I throw my arms into the air.

"That bad," I nod and fall yet again onto his arms. Score, it is the third time I am in his big strong muscular arms.

_September 7, 1976_

_Dear Diary, _

_Sorry for not writing in you for almost a week, it is just this week has been chaotic. The teachers gave us a pile of homework. Come on it is the first week of school and they already gave us five tests, two projects, and six essays due by the end of the week. In addition to the workload, I have Sirius tailing me, trying to read you yet again. This is the first time this week I have free time to write; the plus is that Sirius is not around. Only Remus is, he is sitting across from me, looking deathly pale. Did I mention I am in the library? I finished my homework just a few short minutes ago. Remus still has to finish his homework, hah to him. Uh oh, I hear Sirius coming, better hid you, arveroir. _

_Lily_

I quickly hid my diary as Sirius turns into the aisle.

"Hello, Lilykins," he says as he sits next to me. I smell peanut butter, yum.

"Don't call me that," I say, "and no you can't read my diary. You already did it once."

"Good times," he stares off in space.

I look at Remus and see he is getting paler by the minute.

"Remus, are you ok?" I ask.

"I am fine," he says as he places his quill upon the table. He leans his head against the table and sighs.

"You don't look fine, you should go to the Hospital Wing," I suggested.

"It's alright, Lily," Remus says. He closes his eyes, "I just need a bit of rest."

"Oh that reminds me, Madam Pomfrey says to go to the Hospital Wing. She needs to talk to you about you know what," Sirius says.

"Lily do you mind taking my stuff back to my room?" Remus asks.

"I won't mind," I smile brightly to him as he gets up from his seat.

"What about me?" Sirius whines.

"I don't trust you with my books," Remus says as he walks out of the library.

I stand up and collect Remus' books. Sirius just stares at my actions.

"If you want to help bring Remus' books back to the common room, get James and bring him back here," I say. He runs out of the library at my command to fetch James.

A few minutes past and Sirius is dragging James by the ear.

"Sirius said you need me," James rubbed his ear; I nod.

"Sirius if you want to help me bring Remus' books back to the common room. Go to the kitchens and get fudge. Bring it back to the common room, don't eat it," I tell Sirius.

Yet again, he runs off, sucker.

* * *

James and I are in the common room waiting for Sirius to return with my fudge. We are just talking about life.

"Oh yah, I am holding Quidditch Tryouts this Saturday," James says. Yah Quidditch is life, to us Quidditch folks.

"Do I have to try out even though I am already on the team?" I whine.

"Yea you do. There might be someone better than you, which there is not," James reassesses me. The portrait opens and in walks Sirius and Fudge. Wait that is not, the fudge, I was talking about. I cannot believe he dragged Cornelius Fudge's brother in here.

"You dolt," I yelled at Sirius.

"What, I brought your Fudge," Sirius says.

"I meant chocolate fudge, as in candy," I yell at him. I look at him and I see a chocolate stain all around his mouth.

"You ate my fudge," I yell at him. The chase begins yet again.

* * *

Ah peace and quiet, no Sirius around which is odd because it is 10 o'clock right now and he is usually in the common room. As the matter of the fact James is not here either, he promised me to help me with my Transfiguration Homework earlier. Maybe he is in the dorms. I rise up from the comfortable red couch (the one James and I slept on the other night), and tread up towards the boy's dormitory.

I finally reach the Marauders' dorm room and open the door to find no one is there. Not even Peter, which is odd seeing that he is asleep at this time. I close the door and tread back down the stairs. I return and I lie down on the red couch and stare into the fire. Maybe they went out for some pranking or a midnight snack. I will wait until they return and then badger James to help me. Yawn, I am getting sleepy. I will just close my eyes for a few minutes…

* * *

I hear the portrait opening; I am too tired to open my eyelids to see who has arrived. I hear whispers of that person(s). I feel cold. The whispers get louder and louder, ah and ax murder is here to kill me, must open eyes. Once I open my eyes, I hear someone shush and those whispers quiet down, but I see no one. I must be hallucinating or dreaming. I go for the latter. I rest my head upon the pillow again and shiver. I hear someone walk up the boy dorm steps, my head quickly jumps up to see no one climbing those stairs but the sound of someone walking up them is the only thing I observe. Yep, I must be dreaming, I pinch my self it is not a dream.

I feel someone tap my shoulder, ah, "ahhhhhhh-"

Someone clamped a hand over my mouth, "Quiet down Lils, its James."

I turn around and I am face to face with James. His hair is messier than ever, he looks very tired and worn out. His eyes are like melted chocolate in a fondue pot. Oh great, now I am hungry. You know what I am in the mood for chocolate covered strawberries. I lick my lips.

"Why are you licking your lips?" James stares at my weirdness.

"I am hungry," I blurt aloud.

"It is kind of late to go to the kitchens, but for you we shall," James says.

"You don't have to you looked very tired, you should have some rest," I say.

"Nah, I am fine," he yawns, "I will be right back."

He climbs the boy staircase; a few minutes later, he returns with a light, grey sweatshirt in one of his hands in the other is this blank parchment and a cloak.

"Lils take this you will be cold roaming around the castle," he throws me his sweatshirt. I pull it on and smell his cologne lingering upon the sweatshirt. Sigh.

I see James pushing the blank parchment into his pocket. He still is holding out the mysterious cloak in his other hand. He steps towards me.

"This is an Invisibility Cloak," he whispers into my ear. His warm breath tingles upon my ear lobe.

"Wow," my eyes grow wide, "This can't be an invisibility cloak, and those are very rare –"

I stop mid-sentence at the sight of James disappearing under the cloak and reappearing in just a few seconds later.

"Well," James says as he hands me the cloak to me. I take it and examine it; it has a silvery flow to it, almost silk like.

"Wow, where did you get it from?" I ask as I hand the cloak back to him.

"Well it has been pasted down for generations in my family," James says, "are you ready to go."

"Yeah," I say. Once again, he gets closer to me and he pulls the cloak around us. We head out of the portrait door walking towards the kitchens.

We turn a corner, down a flight of stairs when I ask James, "Why do you have a spare piece of parchment in your hands?"

"Um, I can't really tell you. Seeing you might confiscate it and give it to McGonagall," I am baffled; he knows he can trust me. However, I feel like I cannot trust him with my secrets yet. Ok he wins, but still I want to know. Therefore, I give him a look.

"You know you can trust me," I give him the 'puppy dog eyes' look, with pout and all. Score, he broke.

"Fine, well last year," he ponders for a second," wait I will just show you what it is?"

He takes out his wand and whispers under his breath some words. Ink spindles down upon the parchment and letters appear upon the parchment. It reads 'Messer Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs Proudly present the Marauders Map' (I know that it is not in right, I will fix it later) He opens it up and I see that it is a map of Hogwarts. Wait there is more than that, there is people, moving on this parchment, excuse me map.

"I am totally baffled; this is very advanced magic and charms. Did Remus make it?" I ask him.

"Well all of the Marauders did," he says as we stop in front of a painting of fruit.

* * *

We just got back from the kitchens; I had my chocolate covered strawberries and Hot Fudge Brownie Sundae. James just watched me eat after I stole his Sundae from him. I am trudging the girl's dorm stairs right now. I really do not want to be there right now, they are going to make fun of me, and I just know it. I slowly open the door to the 6th year girl's dorm room. Good, they are all sleeping. I quietly close the door and tiptoe to my bed. I pull my pajamas, the one with the puppies on them, on and get into my bed. I glance at my watch and see it is 6 am. Fun, I have 2 hours of sleep until I have to awake for another school day. Cannot wait until Saturday when we have Quidditch trails.

I am walking towards the quidditch pitch for quidditch trials, which is in about 45 minutes. I wanted to get their early to practice a bit. I enter the field and a light breeze passes by me. I gaze over the groomed field and then look up at the cloudless skies to see that I was not alone. The flier had the Gryffindor quidditch robes on and has unruly short black hair. Must be James, I walk onto the quidditch pitch and when I got to the middle of the pitch, James finally notices me. He zooms down towards me and lands right in front of me. His hair is messier than ever due to the fact he was flying. He is wearing the burgundy and gold quidditch robes and a pin that says 'Captain'. Below the pin is the number 01. _Just for you all to know I am the number 02._

_Suddenly James comes forwards and grabs me into his strong muscular arms. We both drop our brooms on the ground. _

"_I want you baby," he leans forward and plants his lips upon mine._

"Lily, are you alright?" James asks me. I open my eyes to see that I am on the ground, kissing my broom. _What the –beep-?_

I look up and see James kneeling down next to me; he is helping me up from the ground. _My hero._

"I am fine," I say grudgingly. _I thought it was real._

"Are you sure because you blocked me out, then you had a funny look on your face. Soon after that you fell on the ground kissing your broom," he says.

"I am fine," I say as I pick up my broom and look at it weirdly, "How long until quidditch trials begin?"

He glances at his watch, "In 30 minutes. Want to practice flying before it starts?"

"I'll race you," I say. I mount my broom and zoom up into the air, with James at my tail.

* * *

_Saturday, September 11, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_Wow, what a rush, the Quidditch trials just ended. I think I am once again on the team, actually I am. The other people who tried out for chaser were horrible. In addition, James told me after practice that I was. You know just before the trials, I had the wildest daydream; it involved me, James, and it did not involve whip cream. It was about James rushing towards me, grabbing me into his strong, muscular arms, and planting his soft lips upon mine. Wish that would happen in real life. WHAT did, I just say. Oh my Merlin, I do not want to kiss James ever. Still it would be nice to be, loved by someone else for once, since my mother's death. Yes, I said it my mother died in the hands of – I think I am not ready to tell you, my beloved Leather Bound Diary about it. Once I am ready, I will tell you, James and maybe the rest of the world. I think that day I tell everybody will be the best day of my life. note sarcasm _

_I just realized something I am bored. Where is Sirius when you actually need him? Maybe I know where with a girl snogging the hell out of her. I have to go perfect Patrols are soon. _

_Lily_

* * *

_Saturday, September 11, 1976_

_After Perfect Patrols_

_Dear Diary,_

_Oh my Merlin, do you know what I saw during patrols. Well Remus and I were checking the broom cupboards for snogging couples. We opened one and we saw Sirius and slutty girl #2, half-naked snogging the hell out of each other. It looked like they were about to do you know what; all right I will just say it. They looked like they were about to shag each other, but Remus and I saved the day from Sirius doing 'it' in an unsanitary place, as well saving slutty girl #2's virginity. Sirius' virginity is lost, sadly to slutty girl #123 or Mary. Yawn. Now I am getting tired, today was a very hectic day._

_Lily_

I close my diary and hide it under my pillow; I rest my head upon the soft comfortable pillow and close my eyes for sleep. _Good Night, crazy mind._

* * *

_A hand tightly claps around an aged brown belt, the person holding the belt, slaps the belt hard against the ground. A frightened girl lies on the ground, her clothes ripped up and bloody from the rough beatings; her red hair, draped all around her head. She tries to open her eyes, to reveal dull emerald green eyes. She tries to move her head to see her dead mother lying in her own pool of blood, at her side. Her mother looks worst than her, there is more blood for sure. The man suddenly drops the belt upon the ground. The frightened girl turns her attention back to her drunkard father. He slowly approaches her; he rips her clothing off as well as drops his pants off. As he enters her, she screams-_

I am suddenly, awakened by the ghastly dream that I have been having all summer. Beads of sweat are dripping down my pale face. I wrangle out of my covers and rush out of the room, down the girl's dorm steps and up to the boy's dorm stairs. I fumbled over some of the cold steps on my way up. I finally reach the 6th year boy's dorm; I slowly open up the door and rush to James bed. I rip open the curtains to reveal a once sleeping James.

"Lily is that you?" he asks as he lifts himself up from his bed and rubs his eyes. I sit down besides him; he brushes away a loose piece of my red hair. I finally breakdown and my sobs echo throughout the dorm room, but no one is awaken from them.

"Are you ok?" he brushes those fresh tears away from my cheeks. I fall into him and cry into his shoulder. He holds me tight while I cry, rubbing circles into my back. My tears quiet down.

"You had that dream again?" I nod into his shoulder, "Lily you are going to be alright. You are here with me, where no one can hurt you."

"But you can't save me from myself," I whisper quietly, so he would not be able to hear me. However, I may be wrong he may have heard my quiet whispers in the dead of the night.

* * *

Authors Note: Please review, the more reviews the faster I update. Oh yah, I am looking for a beta for this story. I already have one for my other, just send me a message or write a review if you are interested. Thank you again, to who has taken the time to write a review. 


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Well Happy New Years everybody. (I know it is a bit late for it, but still). Well let us welcome in the New Year with a new chapter edited by my new beta Tina101. Thank you for editing this new chapter of Leathered Bound Diary.

Well remember to review after the end of the chapter, and thank you shetlandlace for reviewing for chapter 5 as well. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

I awake in James strong muscular arms; I could still feel dry tears on my face. I turn towards his face and see that he is still sleeping. You could hear the soft, quiet snores coming out from his mouth. _He is so beautiful… what did I just say?_

I continued to stare at his face, his beautiful face. You know what I truly have to admit that I like being in his arms, waking up next to him, a small smile formed on my face. _Now I have to get up, before I turn any crazier. _I tried to unclasp his arms from my tiny body, but they would not budge. _Bloody Hell, now I have to wait until he wakes up to get up. At least it's Sunday, and I __**am**__ in his arms and not Sirius' _I shuddered at the thought.

I heard someone waking up in the bed next to James'. I heard that person walking over to James' bed. That person is going to rip open the curtains. I close my eyes. _Become Invisible, Become invisible. Ugh it is not working._ I hear the curtains open up.

"Remus, look Lily is in James bed. Maybe they finally got together and did it. Oh, wait they are both clothed. Aw, get the camera Remus, hurry," Sirius squealed. _I never knew Sirius could squeal. _I could have killed him right then and there.

"Get your own bloody camera," Remus grumbled in his sleep. Apparently, he was used to Sirius' antics.

"Fine," Sirius grumbled before he went searching for his camera. I open my eyes._Time to form a plan to freak out Sirius. _The invisibility cloak on the nightstand caught my attention. I reached over to grab it and placed it over the still sleeping James and myself. I turn to look at James' face and I see that he is smirking in his sleep and one of his eyes is open. _So he __**is**__ awake!_ Then I heard him snore.

I heard Sirius retrieve his camera and tiptoed to take the picture, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Lily and James disappeared!" I heard him run over to Remus and shake him awake. "Moony, they're gone. They disappeared into thin air!"

"Ugh, I hate you," Remus grumbled as he sat up from his bed. He threw a pillow at Sirius, but he unfortunately missed.

"But they did; now I have no one to bother. Or read diaries from," Sirius complained.

"You could always read your own," Remus suggested

"No one should know that I have a diary. Besides, it's a _journal_, not a diary ,"Sirius defended futily..

"Same thing," Remus muttered as he got up from his bed. I heard him. Approach James' bed. "And Sirius, they didn't disappear. They're just invisible," pointed out

"See Sirius, you can still see Lily's foot cuddled over James'." _Great, this was just great._

Remus suddenly snatched the invisibility cloak from over our bodies. He gave me his look; I also saw that he looks much better than a few nights before.

"Hey Remus, you are look like you are feeling better," I said.

"James, stop smirking. I know that you're awake." I felt James release his muscular arms from my body. "Now that we finally have this problem resolved I am going to try to go back to sleep." Remus returned to his bed and placed a silencing charm over his bed so he could sleep in peace and quiet.

I looked at James and said, "You were awake the whole time?" I started whacking him with his pillow.

"Yeah do you think I snore, for real?" he retorted.

"Fine," I say said. "I have to go now and get dressed," I said softly after a few minutes of awkward silence.

* * *

After breakfast, James and I decided to embrace the beautiful day and do our homework outside rather than spend all day inside. We were out by the Black Lake, James was doing his homework and I was going to write in my diary soon since Sirius was nowhere in sight. Moreover, I finished my homework already and I could trust James not to take a peak at my diary. 

_Sunday, September 12, 1976_

_The Black Lake_

_Dear Diary,_

_I recently discovered that Sirius has a journal…more like a diary. I will commit not to go as low as Sirius and steal his diary from his possession, but if I do come across it, I __**will**__ read it. _

_Anyways, I had that dream again, the one that James has to come and comfort me after I have it. I believe I never told you about it, or the rest of the world for that matter. Maybe today I'll tell you and possibly James. I guess I'll let him read this journal entry; it's is too hard to tell him in person._

_So here it goes, the dream, actually a nightmare, is about how my father killed my mother by beating her to her death. As the dream goes, he was beating me up too, and then he dropped the belt his was holding. Then, he, he raped me. To tell you the truth all of that horrible things happened to me in real life. My father killed my mother; he abused me as well, and he raped me. However, my father was never like that before, he was once a kind, sweet-hearted man, up until he went on a business trip to __Ireland__. I think something happened to him there, something horrible. Hold on, I feel someone's eyes bearing into my head. _

I looked up and see James looking at me.

"Why are you staring at me?" I asked.

"You have a bug in you hair," he said.

"GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!" I started crying hysterical as I dropped my diary into the grass; it was lying open for anybody's eyes to see.

"I'll get it out, quiet down," he said to me. He raised his hands to my auburn red hair to take the bug. Moreover, he showed it to me, I was crying hysterical.

"Lils, it is just a ladybug." he put it right up in my face.

"Get it away," I sobbed. He got up from the grass and walked to another spot of grass where the ladybug flew away. He returned soon after and saw that I was still freaking out. He sat down next to me and put a comforting arm around my body.

"Lils it's ok. It's gone," he cooed as he rubbed comforting circles into my back. Now he knew that I was deathly afraid of bugs.

James noticed my diary open; he bent over to take a look. I could not help but feel mad at him even though I was going to let him read it anyway.

He picked up my diary from the grass; I saw his eyes scanning each word upon the page. He gasped in a masculine way, not a girly way.

"Lils, I know I shouldn't have read it this, but you should have told me!" He exclaimed hotly as he held me tight. He whispered, "I will always be here for you, and I will always protect you."

"James, you know there is more to my secret," I whispered to him. "But I'm not ready to tell you yet."

I start to cry into his shoulder, _I think people might start thinking we are together._

* * *

It has been a few hours since Part 1 of my secret was revealed to James. Right now, I am sitting in the common room finishing my homework. James is sitting next to me; he keeps glancing at me every few minutes. I think he might think that I might disappear or someone might hurt me again.

* * *

It had been a day since Part One of the secret was revealed. We were all in Transfiguration, but Remus was sitting next to me instead of James. I had to pry James off me; he was starting to become claustrophobic. Now I had to pay attention instead of daydreaming, because I was horrible at Transfiguration, and I want to become Head Girl next year so I have to pay attention. Damn, today was the wrong day to not sit next to James. He had always been brilliant at Transfiguration, 

"Class, today we are going to Transfigure bugs into blankets," the Professor said.

I began to hyperventilate uncontrollably.

"Lily, are you ok?" Remus asked me.

Professor McGonagall went around the class and placed five bugs in front of each student.

I continued to panic as McGonagall wrote the spell that we were supposed to say on the board. However, I never saw what the spell was because tragically I fell on the floor hyperventilating and freaking out. All of a sudden, I blacked out.

* * *

"Lils are you alright?" I felt someone lift me up from the cold floor. It was James. 

Yes," I managed to say weakly. "What happened?"

You blacked out on us," James replied.

"How long?"

"Ten minutes."

"Are you alright Miss Evans? Do you need to visit the Hospital Wing?" Professor McGonagall asked, which only caused me to freak out even more, I hated the hospital wing as much as I hated bugs.

"I am fine," I insist.

And then the world went black again.

* * *

When I finally came to again, it felt like I was in the hospital wing. I opened my eyes to find that I sadly was. 

"You're awake, dear," Madam Pomfrey said.

"Can I have a glass of water please?" I asked her.

"Of course, I'll be right back," she replied. I drummed my fingers while I waited for her to return. It was taking a long time for her to come back. I looked at the room and all I saw was white, the only thing that is not white is that spider on my night table.

I scrambled up from the bed and ran as from away from the spider while screaming.

Madam Pomfrey came running in; she dropped the glass of water on the floor, which by the way crashed on the floor into a million tiny pieces.

"What's wrong?" she said out off breath.

"There, there is a spider over there," I pointed out to her; I was on the brink of tears.

* * *

I was finally free at last from that white cell of doom; oh forget it, The hospital wing, fairly quickly. Madam Pomfrey said I fainted because I had a huge fear of bugs. _Wow, who would have thought that? _

I was almost late for Charms, my favorite class, as well, as my best. I hoped James brought my books that I needed. I walked into the class right on time.

"Lily over here!" James called from his desk. There was an empty one next to him. He saved me a seat. How thoughtful and sweet of him.

I took the seat that James saved me and I realized that Professor Flitwick was not there yet.

"Lily, can I talk to you after class?" James asked me.

"Why do you want to talk to her when you can talk to me?" a girl with perfect straight blond hair and blue eye girl pops out of nowhere. She is in Gryffindor and she is the Queen of the Bitiches aka those bullies that tormented me, named Victoria. Victoria Vane is twin sister of Victor Vane. Victor is in Ravenclaw and he is so nicer and maybe hotter as well, than his sister is.

"Well, Lily is my best friend and when you have a best friend you want to talk to them. Do you understand?" James said to the girl.

"Oh, well you should talk to me after class as well." she turned around, her hair hitting my face and swayed her hips. I think she bribed the sorting hat to put her in Gryffindor; she belongs in Hufflepuff actually in Slytherin.

* * *

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked James after class. 

"About, what I read yesterday." I knew this was coming as I walked up the stands steps.

"Ok…" we were in the quidditch field. I sat down in one of the seats in the stands.

"Are you really ok? I mean that does anybody else than me know you got raped?" he asked quietly.

"The healers know," I admitted, "And maybe your parents, and of course Dumbledore."

"I'm just wondering how the magical world got involved with your injury. It seems like there is more than you've told me," he said.

"There is, but I'm not really sure how to explain it." I started to play with my hands in my lap. "Because well I don't remember most of it."

"I wish there was a way for me to help you through all of this." he stared at the horizon.

"By being here for me," I said as he turned his head to look at me, and my almost distressed state.

_Monday, September 13, 1976_

_In my bed_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was a very hectic day. I fainted twice because in Transfiguration we were transfiguring bugs into blankets. I still shudder when I think about it. I ended up in the hospital wing after I fainted the second time. _

_From the last time I wrote in you, I never mentioned that James knows that my father raped me. However, he does not know the rest yet. Like how my father was never an abuser, he would never abuse me. It was as if he was __**Imperiused **__when he went on that business trip to Ireland. But that could never happen, Voldemort never Imperiuses muggles, or does he. I should ask Dumbledore he might know he knows everything. He told me that I could go to him for anything, this summer. _

_Yawn, I am getting tired. Tomorrow I have Potions first thing with the Slytherins and Slughorn. Slughorn adores me and I hate it. Every time he tells me, I should have been in his house. I would love to say, "But Professor I am muggle-born. I could never be in your house, any ways why would I be a Slytherin. They are very foul." However, if I said that to him I bet he would give me a detention. The only thing I fear tomorrow is if I speak to Severus tomorrow. What would I say to him? We were once friends before he called me a mudblood last year, which I never told you that I was. _

_Lily_

_P.S. I might go see__Dumbledore__ tomorrow to ask him that question, of could there have been a possibility that my father was Imperiused. _

_The front door was blown off, her father stood above the girl. He had just raped her. In the door way stood a man. He wore a black cloak, which covered his face. He glided into the house, a snake following him. He saw the girl's dead mother on the floor and he smirked. The girl on the floor whimpered at the sight of this foul man. _

"_Oh I almost forgot you, my dear," the foul man took out his wand and lifted the curse that was on the father. The father looked around and saw his fragile daughter on the floor whimpering at the sight of both him and the other man. He looked at his dead wife that he had beaten to the death on the cold floor. He looked at his hands and saw the blood of both of his loved ones. You could hear a quiet sob as he fell to the floor to his deceased wife. He turned to his daughter and looked into her dull emerald eyes. He felt like he did all of this to his daughter and wife. _

_He turned to the foul man, "Why me?"_

"_Because of your daughter, Lillian?" He said, "Seeing you did your job? Avada Kedavra."_

_Her father fell, lying dead next to her dead mother._

"_What, to do, what to do, with you, Lillian Jane Evans; Hm, I know what," he flicked his wand at the girl on the floor._

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh," the girl screamed._

I awoke screaming, but no one awoke from those screams. I placed a spell on my sleeping area so no one could hear my screams on the first night. Sweat dripped down from the scalp. I close my eyes; I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I must get to James I feel my body shaking. I weakly stand up from my bed, grabbing my night robe on the way. I finally remember what happened to my father. However, the foul man, I do not know who he was. I feel like I know the name, but I do not remember. I stumble down the girl's stairs and up the boy's stairs. I rush into the boys dormitory and straight into James bed. I actually crash into it that is when James awoke.

"Lils are you alright?" he asks me. I am trembling, actually shaking. I feel my pajamas beginning to stick to my sweaty skin. I think I might be sick.

"I had one of those dreams again. I think I might be sick," I feel my face turn pale. He picks me up and rushes me to the bathroom. I started throwing up into the toilet bowl and James is rubbing my back. I think I awoke everybody in his dorm.

"Is Lily alright?" Remus whispered to James.

"No," he says, "Could you go get McGonagall or Dumbledore, hurry."

I hear Remus run out of the room, "It's going to be ok, Shhh."

I fall into James arms after I was finished, "Sirius could you get a wet towel."

Sirius retrieved the towel and handed it to James. Who places it over my forehead.

"Lils do you want to tell me what happened in your dream?" he quietly says.

I shake my head and bury myself into his chest, "I remember."

"You remember what?" he asks.

"What happened? The final scene of that tragic day," I whisper to James.

And that is when I blacked out for the final time that day.

* * *

Author's Note: Review, please or if I do not get at least 5 reviews for this chapter (I know it is little) I will not post until after my midterms (which is in 2 ½ weeks). However, if you do I will write quicker. 


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note:  I am so, so, so sorry for not updating sooner. Life's has just been hectic this past month, especially my beta (Tina101), which I will thank again for taking time in her hectic schedule to edit this chapter.

I have another thank you to say, which would be to the 11 reviewers who reviewed for chapter 6. Those reviewers who reviewed are shetlandlace, sexybeastedward, jamespotters girl101, Hornet-Is-CoOl, Cherrykisses21, soccerxpotterxlife, Minnesodagirl, jalapeno1011, Canadian Harry Potter Fan, hollisterlove x3, and panther73110, thank you again for taking just a few seconds or minutes of your time to review. I am pleased to say that I have received 31 reviews for the whole story, 1030 hits (wow, that's a lot of people whom are reading my story), 6 people favorite the story because they liked it so much, and 13 people have really liked the story that they placed an alert for the story. Thank you yet again, to who ever either read, reviewed, made my story a favorite, made me a favorite as an author.

Now that I said all my thanks, I have to say I am truly sorry for the wait for this chapter. Like I said before (aka last chapter) I have been very busy with school, But lucky for you all, I am almost finished with chapter 8, so as soon as I finishing updating this new chapter. I will most likely send chapter 8 to my beta to be edited and once it is edited, I will post it. Well I have to go and finish typing chapter 8. Hope you enjoy Chapter 7, remember to review after you read, if I reach 45 reviews or more (that means I need 14 reviews for this chapter), I will get chapter 8 and hopefully chapter 9 out in the next week or so. (It really depends on if my beta has free time in her schedule)

Disclaimer: Do not own Harry Potter, I just write fan fiction based on Harry Potter.

* * *

I awake just a mere few hours ago in the white washed hospital wing. Just an hour ago, Madam Pomfrey told me nicely that I was released from the hospital wing and that Dumbledore wanted to see me. Just a few minutes ago, I arrive in Dumbledore's office to see James already sitting there, across from Dumbledore. I currently am sitting next to James, listening to him retell what he knows to Dumbledore. In just a few minutes, I have to tell my dream to Dumbledore and James, without even writing in my Diary first. _I have no idea what to say to them._

"Miss Evans, would you, if you could tell us what the dream you had was about last night?" Dumbledore smiles weakly. I turn to James he smiles weakly also, reassuring me that it's all right; I am going to be fine. This gives me a tiny bit of courage I need to go on.

"From what you know what James told you, my dad had had raped me and killed my mother," I feel tears slowly forming in my eyes. I pause to collect myself. "Well, well it was not exactly his fault. When he went on a trip to Ireland, and when he came back he had changed. When he came back, he started to abuse my mother and me. He never touched a hair on my sister Petunia, seeing that she is married now and out of the house."

I stop, knowing what I was going to say next. I looked at my bare white hands and clenched them.

"Last night I finally remembered what else happened on that night my father killed my mother and raped me," I say. I feel a hand grab mine. I look up and see it was James' hand. He smiles reassuringly, "After, my father raped me, the door was blasted open and in walked a man who had a cloak on. He glided in with a snake following him. He said to my father, your job is done. And, he lifted what I believe was the imperious curse on my father. After that, my father realized what he done and cried; I saw in his eyes that he was trying to get forgiveness for what he has done. But I couldn't forgive him. Then the man killed my father with the killing curse. Then he turned to me and – and crucioed me."

My eyes fill with tears, which drip down my pale face. James wraps his arms around my frail body, comfortingly, while I cry. Sobs shake my delicate frame. I hear James say comforting words to me like, 'It's going to be alright.' After a few minutes, my tears finally halted and James finally releases me.

Dumbledore clasped his hands together, "Miss Evans, I speculate this might be the missing piece of the puzzle that you didn't remember. I may be wrong, but I believe this man who Imperiused your dad, killed your dad, and crucioed you, was Voldemort." My heart pounds in my chest, making it hard to hear.

"Professor, why would he want to attack Lily?" James asks. He is clearly worried about me.

"Miss Evans is a very bright student, as well as a powerful witch. But I think that there is more to why he wanted her." Realization dawns upon Dumbledore. "What I wonder the most is why Voldemort didn't kill you or offer a threat in anyway?"

* * *

_Thursday, September 30, 1976_

_Library_

_Dear Diary, _

_It has been 17 days since I last wrote in you, sorry about that. It has also been 17 days since I had that nightmare that revealed that my father didn't purposely rape me. He was Imperiused by Voldemort while he was in Ireland. Dumbledore was the person who revealed that it was Voldemort, but he couldn't answer the question of why he was after me. Oh did I mention that James knows all about what occurred during that night as well, and now he won't take his eyes off me, except at night when I am sleeping? So right now James is sitting across from me; watching my every hand movement as I spread my words across your blank pages. I have to admit that it feels comforting to have someone to protect me, from the world out there. Who knew that he could be such a sweetie?_

_I have suddenly been hit by a sudden inspiration to write, I know I am writing at this moment in you, but it is another form of writing. Like that writers block poem that I wrote in you just a few weeks ago. _

_**A Mask of a Smile**_

_You may think that everybody can lead happy lives, by judging by their smile on their face. This smile can be a mask. That covers that true emotion of sadness, anger, and despair._

_You can kind of guess that writing is about, well me. _

_Well, I have Quidditch practice soon._

_Lily_

* * *

"Team, good practice everyone, remember we have our first Quidditch game of the season against Ravenclaw on Saturday. You can go now," James says loudly in his 'captain' voice. It's so different from the normal James voice I know. I start walking with the team back to the locker room, when he yells, "Lils I'll wait for you, and so we can head to the Great Hall together."

* * *

I'm sitting next to James when I felt a strong feeling of someone watching me, and it isn't James this time. I turn around and I see my ex–best friend Severus staring at me. I have a feeling he usually stares at me all the time. Ever since last year, when he called me a Mudblood, we haven't been friends. He tried to take back what he said countless times, but he still said it. He became one of the people who hurt me once he said that disgusting word. I try to turn my attention back on eating my food, but I can't. I dropped my fork upon the plate. 

"Lily, why aren't you eating?" James asks. _What is he, my babysitter?_

"And can I have it?" Sirius asks. I ignored him.

"I am not hungry," I say, trying to sound logical.

"Then can I have your food?" he presses.

"Fine," I say to him and push my plate towards him. I cringe in disgust as he inhales the food.

"Why aren't you hungry? You barely ate any of your food," James says.

"Because I am not hungry," I snap as I get up from the seat and stalk out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Bored out of my mind, I am alone in the Common Room waiting for James, whom is still at dinner. Dinner seems like a dream that was smashed away once Severus placed his eyes on me. I wish he never did that because now I am really hungry and bored. Bored out of my mind, staring into the fire wishing I wasn't bored and hungry anymore, I hear the portrait door open. _Yeah, someone is coming to lift my sprits. Oh, its only Victoria Vane and her dumb friends, I hate her._

"What are you doing here?" Victoria asks, obviously surprised that I'm not at dinner with everyone else.

"It's the Gryffindor common room, and I am Gryffindor do the math?" I say.

"Oh, well you're friendless."

"Nice comeback, but actually I do have a friend."

"Who, an Imaginary Friend?" She flips her blond ditzy hair over her shoulder.

"No, me," James says as he walks over to me. _Finally, it took him long enough. _

"Oh."

"Can you go?" he asks her. I see her glare at me once she struts up to the girl's dorm stairs.

"Lils, what is the real reason why you didn't eat?" he asks once Victoria was out of hearing distance.

"I saw Severus staring at me; it brought back all the memories of last year. When I lost my first friend," I whispered, "It just disgusted me how he choose being a Death Eater over our friendship."

"Oh," is all he says.

* * *

_Friday, October 1, 1976_

_Potions_

_Dear Diary,_

_I finished my potion before anybody else today, so I am allowed to do anything I want. So I choose to stay here and write, while helping James with his potion. He is horrible in potions. I'm Slughorn's star student, as well as Severus, who was my partner in Potions for 5 years until this year. I practically begged Slughorn to change my partner to anybody else; actually, I told him why you would want both your star students together. When they could be separated and will be able to help all people in the room instead of the helping being concentrated into one place. Naturally, he agreed to my logic and placed me next to James, and Snape next to Victoria Vane. When she heard he was her partner, she cringed and begged Slughorn to change her partner. Karma was on my side this time and Slughorn said 'Miss Vane, your OWL grade barely got you in here. As well, I heard you need to pass this class with excellence to be able to graduate. Snape here can help you pass this class with flying colors.' _

_Tomorrow is the first Quidditch game of this season. I cannot wait until Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw's arse, tomorrow. That reminds me I have a practice __right__after__ Potions end. _

_The bell is going to ring in a few minutes. Write in you later. _

_Lily_

I place my diary into my knapsack and see James bottling up his potion.

"Done already?" I ask.

"Yeah," he walks up to Slughorn's desk and places his potion near mine. He returns a few minutes later and begins to clean up his area.

* * *

"Gryffindors Seeker has caught the snitch and Gryffindor wins 160 to 20, "the commenter said. I settle down on the ground as the Hogwarts students begin to file out of the Quidditch Pitch. 

"Lils, you played wonderful today." James hugs me.

"Thanks you too," I say to him as he releases me; I start walking back to the locker room, when Sirius comes up to me.

"Hello, Evans, you played great today," he says to me.

"Thanks." I continue walking but he keeps on following me. "What?"

"Aren't you going to say, 'Sirius you played marvelous. Thanks for saving me all those times during the game from those nasty bludgers.' And give me a hug or a kiss as well."

"You did?" I say sarcastically. I keep on walking, knowing all to well, that I should of thanked him, but well it was his job to save me from those nasty bludgers.

"OH YEAH EVANS PARTY IN THE COMMON ROOM!" he yells. _Oh, joy a party. Parties are where first years drink spiked punch and get drunk. When those first years get drunk, they do something really odd. Parties are where snogging couples form. Parties are where Sirius climbs on top of the coffee table with Slutty Girl Number Three and start doing something really odd and disturbing. Parties are where I hide in a corner waiting for all the disturbing events to end._

* * *

I am sitting on the couch, watching all the events I predicted come true. I know I should be stopping all this nonsense but I do not want to be a goody too shoes this time. As well, I love when Sirius wakes up with a hang over, serves him right. I always wake him up loudly in the morning at 5:00 after he drinks. It is so fun to see him squirm. _What the hell?_

Is that Bill Weasley dancing on the table with another first year girl, doing some odd and unusual things for a first year or is it my eyes betraying me? Oh, I am going to kill Sirius now for spiking the punch. Speaking of Sirius, where is he? Isn't he supposed to be on the table, dancing with a slutty girl?

I feel someone taking the seat next to me; I look to see whom it was. It is Bill Weasley.

"Hello, Beautiful," he slurs. _Oh my Merlin, a first year just hit on me, a first year with red hair and blue eyes. A very adorable first year, who is not suppose to flirt with me…or drunk for that matter. _

"Do you –_hiccup_- want – _hiccup_- to - _hiccup_ - dance – _hiccup_ – with – _hiccup_ – me?" he checked me out. "Or find a broom closet."

My mouth drops, what, what; oh my Merlin, a first year just hit on me, checked me out, and asked me to find a broom closet. I am totally going to find a broom closet to hide in.

"Sorry, little man, but she can't," James suddenly came out of nowhere. _Thank Merlin._

"Why, it is not like you are her boyfriend or anything?" he slurs. "Or are you? You do spend a lot of time together."

I feel my cheeks tinge red. _I knew someone would start to think that I was with him. _

"No we are not, "James sits next to Bill. "Shouldn't you be in bed or something?"

"No, I am partying, like Sirius told me to do," he stumbles out of the chair, but his effort is lost he just falls back onto the seat. I look at Bill and see he is sleeping.

"Aw, he passed out," I say aloud, "James what should we do to him, leave him here or bring him to his room?"

"I say bring him to his room, then you can find Sirius and yell at him," James says as he picks Bill up carefully. He can be so great with kids.

We carry Bill up the boy's dorm steps and find the first year dorm. We walk into the room and see that no first year is in yet. Great, just great. We find his bed with minor problems and tuck him in. Bill looks positively cute for a first year.

We walked out of the room, and James says to me, "You know what was positively funny about tonight?"

"What?" I ask.

"A first year hit on you." He laughs aloud. "And offered to go to the broom closet with you." I glare at him.

"You know what will be positively funny, dealing with hangover first years and –" As we come towards the James' dorm room, we hear a moan. My eyes widen, and then an idea sparks within me.

"James could you walk in first, pretty please. My precious memory does not need any more ghastly images added within it," I pout.

"Fine," he agrees and, he opens the door quietly, and I follow him. We see that Sirius' curtains are closed and we tip toe over to his bed. James rips open the curtains.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh my precious eyes, they burn," I scream at the sight of clothed Sirius and a clothed Slutty Girl Number Four.

"Why are you yelling?" she demands.

"She is normally like that, she has a terrible yelling disorder called um… brain freeze," he says. I glare at him; my hand hits my head, how dumb can he be?

"Wow, is it contagious?" This isn't happening, she actually believes him!

"Nah."

"Sirius do you know what brain freeze is?" I ask him.

"A yelling disorder." I think Sirius is trying to speak smart for this dumb girl.

"No, brain freeze is when you eat too much ice cream at once at a fast pace." He and the girl wear a confused face, "When your brain hurts when you eat ice cream fast?"

"Oh that's what it is called?" Sirius says.

"What is ice cream?" the girl asks, dumbfounded. Glad to see that Sirius has such high standards for girls.

* * *

"I can't believe you spiked the punch. You made Bill Weasley get drunk," I yelled at Sirius once that dumb girl left the room. 

"That's the point of me spiking the punch. It's fun to watch the first year do unusual and odd things," he reasons lamely.

"Well do you want to know what happened to Bill," I asked him.

"He hit on Lily and asked her to go to the broom closet with him," James says without waiting for an answer. Sirius starts to laugh uncontrollably.

"He did? Did you take up on his offer?"

I hit him.

* * *

Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really do hope I receive 14 reviews, but if I don't alls well. 


	8. Chapter 8 nonedited version

Authors Note: Sorry for not updating, since February. I was waiting, and still waiting, for my beta to send me the edited version of this chapter, however my patience got overrode by my impatience so here I am updating the story without it being edited by my beta. Once my beta sends me the edited version of this chapter I will fix this chapter, however if she does not I will be in need of a new beta. So if you are interested, please email me or write a review telling me if you are. Also, if anybody spots any mistakes in this chapter please tell me, I just love receiving constructive criticism and reviews Anyways, please enjoy the chapter and please consider reviewing after you are done reading. I will update as soon as possible, seeing that I have 2 more chapters already done.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

-- 

Whoa, its Friday, finally Friday, I am so excited for this weekend for absolutely no reason at all

Whoa, it's Friday, finally Friday, I am so excited for this weekend, for absolutely no reason at all. Currently I am walking alone to History of Magic, did I say that I was alone? I cannot find James anywhere; it is like he disappeared from the face of the earth, along with the rest of the Marauders. You know it would not be so bad if Sirius disappeared from the face of the earth, I wouldn't miss him, but sure his slutty girls would miss up.

I grab a seat in the middle of the classroom, I save a seat for James incase he does show up for this boring, boring class. I wait for two whole minutes James is still not here. Erg, where is he. He is my buddy in History of Magic. Who is going to keep me from falling asleep?

Why in the hell is Victoria Vane's brother is coming towards me, which is weird because he never does.

"Hello, Lily. Is this seat taken?" without my answer he sits in the seat I am saving for James. _How dare he, that is my bests buddy's seat. _

"Um, yeah," I nervously say at this, the good-looking, vainest boy in the entire world. _Oh, look he has a mirror, why does he have a mirror._

"By whom?"

"My friend."

"I thought you don't have friends," _What is it the Vanes attack Lily marathon, who used to have no friends at all, except for Severus._

"I do have friends. By the way his name is James Potter, do you know who he is or do I have to show you a picture?"

"Oh, him," he says, "Well then I thought wrong."

"Well, most of the time you do," I remark.

"Well then, do you want to go on a date with me or snog under the covers with the hottest boy in school," he says, looking at the mirror for the entire conversation.

"Who is this hottest boy in school, because I don't see him here," I look around the room and pretend to find the hottest boy in the room.

"Well me of course," he smiles into the mirror, "So do you want to?"

"Well , obviously my answer is… well, no," I say confidently. _Ever since I was raped, I promised myself that I wouldn't date any other boy, until I find my true, true love. And the one who proves his love to me. _

"Why, you can't possibly have a boyfriend?"

"Well I don't and I am not interested in having you as my boyfriend, "I say, "So get lost, Vanest of them all."

_Tear. I am so proud of myself. _

"Yeah get lost," I hear someone say. I peer over Vanest (aka Victor Vane) shoulder, and see James is finallyhere. Vanest scrambles up at the sight of James, and runs off to his dorky friends. I wonder what made him scramble up so fast, oh wait I see James' wand. James drops his bag down by the desk and sits down in the seat Vanest was in just a few mere seconds ago.

"Where have you been Mister?" I poked James in his arm.

"Um, Remus was feeling sick this mourning so I helped him go to the Hospital," he turned his head and captured my eyes in his own chocolate fondue pot of chocolaty goodness. _I wonder if he smells like chocolate too, and tastes like it. I wonder if I just take one bite of his –_

"Lily are you all right, you got an all dreamy look on your face. You even started licking your lips," he says," You have a bit of drool, right there." He points out. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks in embarrassment, I quickly wipe the drool away before nobody else saw it.

"As I was saying, I was helping Remus to the hospital wing, because he was sick," James said.

"Good thing, poor thing looked deathly sick all week. For a matter of a fact, he looked the same way just last month, around the same time. Does he have any disease that is uncureable and returns every month?"

"He is fine, he just has a weak immune system, he gets sick every month, "he says, "And did you just say that Remus is a 'poor thing'?" I nod.

"Where is Sir Dufus head?" I ask.

"You mean Sirius," I nod, "We were on the way back from the Hospital Wing when he saw Mary 'what's her name'. He suddenly disappeared from my side and as well, Mary was gone. I think they went into a near by broom closet or something."

"Ah you mean slutty girl number one – hundred and twenty-three?" I ask.

"What?" James asked confusedly.

"Never mind," I pull out a piece of spare parchment a quill. _What I forgot my diary today? Anyways I don't feel like writing today, I rather draw. And yes I can draw pretty well. _

"Why did you take out a piece of parchment, class hasn't started yet and you never take notes in this class," James asks.

"I know, that's why I am drawing," I say as I place the quill against the parchment, "Can I draw your hand?"

"What?" James asks confusedly.

"Can I draw your right hand? I want to practice drawing hands," I say.

"Draw your own hand," he scuffs.

"I have drawn my hand too many times to count. Anyways I rather draw your big, muscular manly hands," I say.

"You think my hands are manly, "I glare at him, like I am threatening him, "Fine, what position do you want my hand to be in."

I grab his hand and feel like an electric force circulates from his hand to mine. His hand rather feels nice; it is all calloused like mine, but there nice and warm. Like a buttercup on a warm Sunday Mourning. What did I just say, a buttercup on a warm Sunday Mourning, does that even make sense. I position his hand to the position I want it to be.

"Now, don't move," I say.

I start drawing his hand, which only took 30 minutes to do. In that 30 minutes a series of events occurred, the professor came through the walls (which are a normal occurrence at Hogwarts, for Professor Binns to come 'magically' through the hard cold stone walls of the Hogwarts Castle.) Another event that tragically occurred was that Sirius walked in late, with red lipstick kisses all along his neck, his tie was undone, and the buttons of his t-shirt was open. His hair was as well messy, like James' but worse. But this event is a normal occurrence, but what you don't see everyday was the fact that Sirius fly was open. Good thing he wore boxers today or we all would have been doomed, or at least me.

So, as of this moment, my finished James' hand drawing lays in front of me. I am just putting the finishing touches on my brilliant hand drawing, it almost looks real.

"That's a brilliant drawing, Lils. You are a brilliant artist," he whispers, "Can I keep it?"

I think my cheeks tinged red at his small, but nice words, "Alright, let me sign my name first."

I sign my name at the bottom right of the parchment and hand it to James. I see Sirius peak in interest at the drawing.

"Who drew that?" Sirius asked James.

"Lily did," James whispered to Sirius. 

-- 

_Friday, October 8, 1976_

_In the Common Room, by the window_

_Dear Diary,_

_I finally found you; I had misplaced you in my book bag somehow. Well because I did not have you in History of Magic, I drew James' hand instead. He told me I was a brilliant artist, after I had finished it. Which I totally am, Sirius even told me that I was the best artist in Hogwarts. When Remus saw it, he said I did a beautiful job on the drawing (we went to the hospital wing to show him) and when Peter saw it, he squeaked I was a good artist. Peter's response was the most uncreative response I got from all four boys. Speaking of those four boys, where are they now? _

I place my quill down upon the diaries pages, I peer out the window, and observed that the bright full moon was out, soon after I hear a howl of a werewolf.

_I hope the boys aren't outside, because a werewolf can possibly get to them. Wait, what if, one of them was a werewolf. No that can' t be possibly the reason why they aren't here right now. Maybe they are just in the kitchens, stocking up on food for Sirius' unquenchable hunger. Maybe that is it, but why would they be out with a werewolf. Oh my Merlin, James lied to me. I bet the reason why Remus was sick today was that he was a werewolf. Nah, that can't be the reason, he is too much of a sweetheart to be one._

_Lily_

I settle more in the seat and pull the blanket more over me. I am watching the full moon, and the Hogwarts grounds, waiting for the boys to come back from the kitchens. Just waiting, until they finally come back from where ever they are. Just like they did last month, last month when there was a full moon.

_Darn it, I feel asleep in the common room. _I look at my watch and see that it is 4 o'clock. I better go to the room before, I fall asleep in the common room again. I lift my self off the chair, as I am doing this I hear the portrait door open. That's weird who in their right mind would return to the common room on a Saturday mourning at 4. Oh I know who, the Marauders. The people who are the reason for me sleeping on the couch tonight. The portrait door closes. I walk over to the boys staircase and stop right in front of it, preventing them from sneaking up the staircase.

"Damn it, Evans is up and she knows that we have the invisibility cloak," I think I hear Sirius say, "Why oh why Prongs did you have to tell her about it."

"You know I could hear you Black, next time whisper," I say as James pulls the cloak off to reveal Peter, Sirius and James.

"Where's Remus?" I ask.

"In the hospital wing," Sirius says.

"Why were you out in this ungodly hour?" I yawn as I say this.

"Um," all three of the boys look very nervous, battered up, and tired, "We were out visiting Remus… in the hospital wing."

"You know you could just visit him during the day, during visitor's hours," I say as I get a better look at the boys. I suddenly see that James' arm is bleeding. I rush over to him," James why is your arm bleeding."

"Oh this," he says as he quickly covers his injured arm, "um I scratched this on the way back from the hospital wing."

"You are lying," I place my hands on my hips. I see Peter shaking nervously, "tell me the truth. I told you the truth, so why can't you?"

"Because it isn't my secret to share," he says as he yawns loudly, "Lils, I am going to bed and you should too."

I raise my eyebrows, "Well, this conversation isn't over." I ascend the girl's staircase, walking back to my room. I fell like I forgot something down in the common room, but I am just too tired to care.

Today is the first Hogsmeade day of the year. And I won't be enjoying it because I misplaced my diary. I searched everywhere in my dorm room and the Gryffindor Common Room, but no avail it wasn't there. Right now, I am in a state of being in a nervous wreck on my way to Hogsmeade. James keeps trying to reassure me that we will find my diary.

"Lils, we will find it. Try to enjoy the Hogsmeade visit and when we get back we will search high and low for it," he says.

"What if someone already found it and is reading it at this possible second, what if that is my archenemy and will use my diary to blackmail me," I freak out.

"Calm down Lils, it's going to be alright-"I interrupt James.

"Why didn't we just stay at Hogwarts today, and search for the bloody diary?" I attack James.

"Because, we searched all bloody mourning for it and we didn't find it. And you need to relax, "he says, "And I promised to buy you chocolate."

"Yum," I lick my lips.

We bought my chocolate and then went to the Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer. We were sitting at a table near the window, when Rosmerta came around.

"Hello, boys and Lily," she smiled at me. I always liked her, she gives me free Butterbeer from time to time. What's not to like about her?

"Hello Rosmerta, you are looking ravishing and more beautiful than last year," Sirius says as he stands up, "Well I have to go now I have a date."

"-Cough –snogging session –cough-," I say, I notice something in Sirius' coat pocket, which strangely looks like my diary. It can't be.

"Sirius what is in your pocket," I ask him.

"Nothing," he says as he puts his hand in his pocket, trying to push whatever he has in his pocket further down.

"Then why are you pushing it further down your pocket," I try to grab whatever he has in his pocket, but he takes off before I can get a hold of him. Ugh, I have to chase him, yet again, like I did in the library last month. I run after him, leaving my coat, chocolate, and James behind.

"BLACK, TURN OUT YOUR POCKETS. AND SHOW ME WHAT IS INSIDE TH-"I tripped on a chair and fell on my arse. My arse hurts, "Ah the agony, I think I broke my arse."

By this time, Sirius has stopped running. He is now in a state of a laughing fit and everybody's eyes are on me.

I close my eyes, and squeeze them tight," Disappear, Disappear. I am the invisible butterfly fluttering away, away into the sky."

I hear Sirius fall on to the floor, laughing, hard. I feel someone picking me up from the floor, it feels like James manly, muscular hands.

"Lils are you alright," I open one eyelid. Oh, it is James, which reminds me.

"BLACK GIVE ME DIARY BACK," I yelled as I escaped James manly, muscular hands and jumped the laughing / crying boy. He is pinned underneath me he smirks.

"Never knew you to be the feisty one, but I like it," Sirius remarks.

"Oh shut up, turn out your pockets," I commanded.

"Why?" he questions, he tries to push me off him, but of course, the weakling he is, he could not.

"You stole my diary and I know it," I say.

"No I didn't. If you kindly get off me, maybe I could prove that I did not," he says. I get off him and stand up. Everybody's eyes are still on me.

"I am not a freak at the freak show," I yelled at those annoying eyes, "SO STOP STARING."

"Give me my diary," I face Sirius. He pulls me out of the Three Broomsticks.

"For the last time it is not yours," he whispers, "It is mine, look."

He pulls out 'his diary' and flips towards the first page, "May I read the first entry?"

"Fine," he says as he hands me 'his diary'.

_July 1, 1976_

_Dear Journal, _

_My new mommy (aka Mrs. P or Elizabeth Potter), has told me to write in a diary, no a journal. Men write in journal and girls write in diaries. Mommy told me to write in a journal because yesterday I have ran away, from my horrendous (I looked that word up in the dictionary) family. My dear old horrible mother blasted me away from the family tree, I am finally free, to not be bothered to join the freakin' Moldyshorts club. My dear naïve young brother has joined that club, and I feel bad for him. He could have run away with me, but instead he choose the wrong path. You know this journal writing thingy has actually released all that pent up whatever it is called. I may make it a daily routine, but I better not mention this to the rest of the boys. They make call me a sissy, ok maybe not. Because I would be calling them the sissy, so that means I am calling myself a sissy. Brain cramp, the agony, it hurts._

_Padfoot (aka Sirius Orion Black)_

"Ok maybe this diary is not mine," I hand the book over to Sirius.

"It is a journal, only girls write in diaries," he says as he hides the book in his pocket.

"Then do you have any bloody clue where my diary is?" I ask Sirius. I see a hidden smirk form on his face.

"It's missing?" he looks surprised.

"Yes," I said. I rubbed my arms up and down my arms; it is getting cold outside. No wonder, I left my coat with James. I trudge back into the Three Broomsticks to find James, sitting at the same table we were sitting at before. I sit down in my seat.

"Was it your diary?" he asks as he looks up from stirring his Butterbeer around.

"Nope," I say, "Did you ever know he writes in a diary?"

"Never knew he did actually," he says as he picks up his Butterbeer, "Never actually took him up as person who would actually write in a diary. I always took him up a journal kind of guy."

"A diary and a journal is the same thing," I say as he drinks his Butterbeer. 

-- 

"Bloody Hell, that's where it was the whole time," I yelled. Oh did I mention that I found my diary, under the blanket that covered me last night in the common room. By the way, the blanket was still the common room. I am such a dolt.

"Found it?" I heard a voice ask. I look up and see Remus, he is looking better.

"How did you know that I was looking for my diary?" I asked him

"James came by the hospital wing, asking me if I saw your diary," Remus said.

"Oh, "I quietly say, "I see that you are better."

"Yeah I am, Madame Pomfrey knows how to fix me up in a jiffy," he says.

"Did you ever know that Sirius keeps a diary?" I asked him.

"Yes, I caught him writing in it, it was a scary sight, him writing in that blasted diary," Remus picks up his book, "As well I never thought he would actually read a dictionary in order to make his entries sound more intelligent." 

--

Authors Note: Yet again I have to same I am so sorry for not updating. Another cause of me not updating any sooner was that I had been reading Twilight which has halted me for writing for some odd reason and I finished all three books in three days. As well I have been reading Pride and Prejudice. Both books are fantastic, I just love Edward and Mr. Darcy, as much as I love James Potter. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review and whom ever is interested in becoming my new beta please contact me as soon as possible.


	9. Chapter 9 non edited version

**Author's Note:** Just to inform you all, this chapter is unedited. it will be edited once the beta I am considering for being my beta gets back to me So please take it under your consideration when you write a review. Which every single person should do once they read a new chapter that an author has written for you all. Yes I am speaking to all of you folks that don't review. Why not I make a deal with you all, if I get 5 more reviews than I got last time I will get the next chapter out to you all as soon as that 6th review has been written. However if it is not done, I won't post my unedited version of the next chapter until after my birthday, which is on the 16th of July. I find that fair. :D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter.

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_'Sunday, October 10, 1976_

_Quidditch Pitch Waiting for Practice to begin_

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't believe I left you under my blanket in the common room yesterday. I thought that Sirius stole you. Anyways, guess what he writes in a diary. Never toke Sirius as a diary writing kind of bloke, but you might of never took me as a diary-writing girl. Anyways, now I have some information to blackmail him. Mwahhhh. evil grin_

_I am bored; quidditch practice starts in 30 minutes. I have no idea why I came early, stupid me. At least I brought you along, to fulfill my need of something exciting but unfortunately, that time has dreadfully passed. Awkward silence_

_Oooh, I have something to tell you. Dumbledore announced this morning that there is going to be a Halloween ball for fourth years and above. This is the first time in Hogwarts History, a Halloween Ball has happened. The Halloween Ball with most likely be the last Halloween Ball, seeing that people like Sirius will ruin it for us by, spiking the punch with Firewhiskey or something of that sort. Anyways, I am so excited because we get to dress up in costumes, like I did when I was little. Once when I was ten years old it was Halloween, I was a witch, which is funny because, just a few months later I found out that I was one. Good times, getting high on candy.'_

"Lily what are you doing?" James finally appeared, dressed in his quidditch robes.

"Writing," I said as I placed my quill once again on the page.

_Sorry, but I have to go now, James has arrived. Write in you later. _

_Lily_

I put my diary away in my knapsack and stood up.

"I guess you want to go to the locker room now to put your knapsack away?" he said.

"Yah, I have to get my broom from the locker room as well," I said as I started walking towards the locker room.

"You know the locker rooms are locked," he said.

"Shit," I turned around, "that's why you are coming along."

I grabbed him by his ear and dragged him to the locker room," Lils you didn't have to drag me here, especially by the ear, it hurt."

"Stop being a baby and open the door," I demanded him. He pulled out the key and opened the door.

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"I can't believe, Dumbledore decided to tell us that we were going to have a Halloween Ball right after the Hogsmeade weekend. He is so stupid," I heard Victoria Vane say as I walked into the Great Hall. _Just ignore her just ignore her._

"You know who else is stupid… you," my impulsiveness won over my conscience, go figure.

"Well, I have a date for the Halloween Ball and you don't," she flipped her blond hair over her shoulder.

I raise my eyebrows, "Who is your date then?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"I guess you don't have one then," I turned around and walked towards James and the Marauders.

"Well I do, and it's… someone in this Great Hall," I turned around and saw her face turning a bright shade of red. After all that, she stomped out of the Great Hall leaving her cronies behind.

I sit down next to Remus, whom is reading the Daily Prophet as of this moment, as well as sipping a cup of tea. He looks like a middle-age man; I think I see a sprout of grey hair looming at his scalp.

"Remus you know you are starting to have grey hair," I said as I picked up a piece of toast and spread chocolate spread on top of it.

"I do," he placed his cup of tea on the table, as well his Daily Prophet.

"Yes you do, must be all the stress from Sir Dufus head and All Mighty James," I bite into the toast. Yum, chocolate for breakfast, I think I am in heaven.

"You know James isn't All Mighty anymore," Remus picks up the newspaper from the table.

"Yah I know, but he is still All Mighty on the quidditch pitch."

"That's so true," James, says.

"All hail King James," I bow down to him which, causes everybody to look at me strangely," Did I just say that out loud?"

James nodded. I shrink down in my seat and munch on my chocolate toast. I hear squawking; I turn my head and see my owl coming straight towards me.

"AHHHHH, Cocoa is going to kill me," I scream, I tightly close my eyes and grab on to Remus arms. I think I might be hurting him.

"Ow, Lily, do you mind if you take your fingers off my arm? You are kind of hurting me."

I release his arm and open my eyes to see Cocoa sitting before me. In her mouth is a crème colored envelope, with curvy purple-inked lettering addressed to me.

"Sorry Remus," I say as I stroke Cocoa's chocolate brown fur coat, "How are you Cocoa?"

James leaned against the table, "Lils, why on earth did you call your owl Cocoa?"

"I was eating chocolate at the time I got her," I say as Cocoa releases the envelope from her mouth. I dig around my knapsack in order to find those owl treats that I always give her when she delivers a letter, "Here you go."

She flaps her wings and sets off, leaving the letter for me to read. I pick the letter up from the table the envelope read: _'To Lily'. _ I open the envelope and pulled out the letter.

'_Saturday, October 9, 1976_

_Dear Lily,_

_Sorry, for not writing sooner, but life at the Potter residents have been hectic. As well, I have been ordered to work more hours at St. Mungos. Overall, both Harold and I are doing well. Harold is fine and as of this moment chasing after Death Eaters and saving lives like the heroic man, he is. I am just so worried about him. However, I rather not write about all my problems at the Potter residents. I rather talk about the good stuff that is happening here and ask you questions about how school is going. In addition, of course ask you why has not James written me a letter yet._

_The only letters I get back from Hogwarts are those letters that McGonagall sends to inform me of James and Sirius's detentions and schemes. Talking about detentions, I have received a few concerning you. Chasing after Sirius in the library after he stole your diary, was a brilliant thing. Nevertheless, it is still a bad thing to do. _

_Anyways, how is writing in the diary so far? I have heard from Dumbledore that you have opened up quite a lot to James. I am very glad that my advice helped you a bit in your situation. _

_I hear Mr. Potter calling my name I guess he is home. Wait, he is home, because well he is calling my name. _

_Love,_

_Elizabeth Potter_

_P.S. Please write back soon, and tell James and Sirius to do as well. Oh yah, Mr. Potter says hello.'_

"Who's the letter from?" I hear James ask.

"Your mother, do you want to read it?" he nods and I hand him the letter. His eyes scan the page, taking in all the words. His eyes lift off the page and he hands me the letter. I push the letter into my knapsack for later.

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'_Sunday, October 10, 1976_

_Dear Elizabeth,_

_You know for the last few weeks, I have been writing only 'Dear Diary'. Now today I get to write a 'Dear Elizabeth', which is exciting in a way that I am writing a letter to someone whom can actually write back to me via owl. _

_Anyways to answer your simple but complex questions, I will say that school is fine; McGonagall hasn't erupted yet, spewing lava from her head. Sirius still has the way with the sluts, and picked up one who does not even know what ice cream is. Overall I would say school was fantastic note sarcasm _

_Oh yah, I have something to tell you. Dumbledore announced that there is going to be a Halloween Ball. This is the first Halloween Ball that Hogwarts has ever had. I am predicting that this will be our last. Some people cough Sirius cough will ruin it for us. Oh great, I just realized something I have no costume to wear. note to self pick up costume at Hogsmeade end of note to self. _

_Well I have to go finish my essay for Charms that I was working on earlier. Adieu. _

_Love,_

_Lily_

_P.S. Tell Harold Hi and that during Christmas break I am going to finally beat him in a game of chess. _

_P.S.S. James hasn't sent you a letter because he has been comforting me all day and night. Don't get you head in the clouds; he has been comforting me because of what happened over the summer.'_

I place my quill next to the letter waiting till the emerald green ink on the paper dries. Meanwhile it dries I pull out a crème colored envelope (it looks like the one that Elizabeth sent me earlier today.) The emerald green ink has dried and I place the letter into the envelope and seal it. I place it into my knapsack, tomorrow I will have to send it.

'_Saturday, October 30, 1976_

_Dear Diary, _

_After 3 weeks of agony, the Halloween Ball has finally arrived. And guess what I am not going, instead I am going to sit by the fire and read a book. Yep a book and watch my fellow Gryffindors come down to meet their dates in their ridicules costumes. I know that I will be kind of lonely all night, but still after hearing the clamorous girls in my dorm squeal about who their dates were was agonizing, to me. James might be upset with me that I did not tell him that I was not going. James does not have a date tonight, for some odd reason, girls were lining up to be his date, however he declined all the girls' requests. _

_Oh, looky people are starting to come down the stairs. Write in you later. _

_Lily _

_P.S.: You know I do have a large bag of candy and CHOCLATE next to me to occupy my time while the others are at the ball.'_

The first person to arrive in the common room is………………………………..

Oh, it is just Bill, carrying a large pile of books, good lad, doing his homework on a Saturday night like I used to do when I had no friends. Oh, I was such a dork back then, wait I might still be one. scratches head

"Hello Bill," I say as he walks past the couch I am sitting on.

As I say those words, Poor Little Bill turns bright red, drops his large pile of books on –

"OW, MY BIG TOE HURTS."

"Bill, are you ok?"

"I'm alright," Bill mumbles as he picks up his books. My attention is diverted from Bill as I hear the loud boisterous voice of the Sir Dufus Head himself.

"Black, why are you wearing a kilt?" Sir Dufus Head strides over to me. I hear Bill cracking up which makes his books fall onto the floor and onto his big toe yet again.

"No, I am wearing a skirt."

"No, that's a kilt."

"No, I am wearing a skirt."

"No, that's a – I am just going to stop fighting now. Think it's a skirt I do not care."

"Well, it is a skirt and I love skirts. I might wear them everyday for now on," Sir Dufus Head swishes his skirt back and forth, "But I do not like the breeze that is passing under this skirt. Oh did I mention that I am not wearing any thing underneath this skirt."

I am totally disgusted, might as well block him out now and talk to Bill. But where in the hell did Bill go?

Oh, well I do not need Bill right now, I see James coming down the stairs, looking spiffy in his costume.

"Lils, why aren't you in a costume?"

"I do not feel like going."

"Why?"

"I just don't want to."

"Fine, but I do not want you to be alone, so I might as well join you and not go to this stupid dance."

"But, Prongsie you are going to miss out on the spiked punch," Sirius said.

"Padfoot, why are you wearing a skirt?"

"It's a kilt for crying out loud," Sirius screamed.

The girl that Sirius had in bed a few weeks ago came running over to Sirius, "Oh, Sirius do not cry."

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"…and thats when Sirius runs into a wall."

"Hahahahaha," James just told a funny story about Sirius, a cat, and a wall. Hehehehe, still laughing in the inside.

"Sirius is really stupid."

"But that's why we love him."

"I do not love him."

"Well most of us love him for his stupidity."

"Or just for his godlike appearance," I mumble under my breath.

James breaks out laughing, gosh he just looks so beautiful. The cackling fire behind him makes him angelic like. He looks so handsome, with his unruly soft black hair and chocolate hazel eyes. I have a desire to run my hands through his hair.

Oh my sugar lips, I hope I did not say that aloud. And how can I possibly crush on my best friend, that's like ew on so many levels. But, you can't really ignore how handsome and more mature he has become from last year.

"Lily are you ok?" James asks, "You have that weird dreamy look again."

"Yah, I am fine, just thinking about how much you were an arrogant prat last year."

"I was not an arrogant prat, ok maybe I was."

"Do you remember how I reacted, over the summer, when I found out that it was your family that I was going to stay with until I become of age?"

"Yah, but as time passed by, you came to like me," he paused for a second, "as a friend."

"I remember that day like it was yesterday, when I had the first recurring dream of my rape, you rushing into my room. Asking me if I was alright, laying down next to me, comforting me while I cried my heart out," I closed my eyes as a tear started to form in my eyes, "I miss my mum and dad, even though my dad raped me, but it was not his fault. It was mine, if I was never a witch, none of this terrible events would of never happened."

I fell into James muscular chest, hearing his heartbeat, tears soaking his comfortable t-shirt. He brushed his fingers through my hair," Lily look at me."

I look up into James' warm chocolaty eyes, "None of those terrible events were your fault, anyways if you were never a witch, I would of never of met you…. And you would of never have met me. I would be a arrogant, selfish prat for my whole life if you never had shown up in my life."

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'_Sunday, October 31, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_Happy Halloween Diary, love the day; you get free CHOCLATE today, yum. Well as I said the day before, I didn't go to the Halloween Ball, but instead of staying alone all night with a big bag of candy. James stayed with me and kept me company when I cried. However, at the end of the night Sirius found James and I, sleeping on top of each other do not get your head in the clouds, we were just sleeping, I might have been drooling on James shirt, but that is not the point. Sirius found us this mourning, after a night of partying and maybe a bit more naughty stuff with slutty girl #16 and/or #90._

_I really do love falling asleep on James, he is so comfy, however I do hate being waken up with Sirius prodding his wand in my skin. I think I just had experienced déjà vu. Freaky. Oh, I hear some chocolate calling my name. _

_Chocoholic Lily'_

Mhmmm, chocolate god's best creation, or was it man's best creation. It does not really matter; it is still the best thing that was ever made.

"Watcha doing?" I hear someone say. I open my eyes to see Sir Dufus Head before of me.

"Savoring chocolate."

"Oh, that's good," Sirius scratches his head, "What does savoring mean?"

"I do not have time to explain what savoring means."

"Fine then I will go find the talking dictionary and ask him what it means."

"Fine then, go find him."

"But that means I have to go into the library."

"Do you need a chaperone?"

"Yes."

"Go away and go badger someone else."

"What does badger mean?"

And that's when Sir Dufus Head stole my diary from me, yet again.

And that's when I ran after him, leaving my almost finished chocolate and my useless books behind.

And that's when I earned another detention with Black, I have come to the conclusion that fate hates me.

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**Author's Note:** Remember to review, or you all won't get the new unedited version of the next chapter until the 17th of July. So I'll give you all until the 6th of July to review or whenever this story seems to been read by 30 to 50 people or so. Also, I will accept constructive criticism as a review, as well as this story stinks, or just a hello. Just review.


	10. Chapter 10 non edited version

**Authors Note: **I know, I know, that I should of not broke that promise to myself that if I did not get 6 **reviews** by the 6th, I would not update until the 17th. But after you read this chapter, you'll know why I just had to post this chapter. Hopefully this chapter will make you all write a **review**... however if you don't I will consider to stop writing this story and possibly delete it. Because this thing of not getting enough reviews is discouraging me from writing and is making me feel like I am a horrible writer. Which makes me want to cry. Ok, enough with all this rambling on how I did not get enough **reviews**, lets talk about some important stuff. Like if you don't follow my new guidelines on **reviewing** I will not post until the 2nd part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Which by the way comes out on May 2010, yes I know that is a long time. Frankly I do not want to wait that long, might make it shorter, depends on the amount of **reviews**. Hope you **review**.

Oh yah, before I forget, thanks to those _3 people_ whom **reviewed** for chapter 9 and I am looking for a new beta. The one whom offered still has not replied back to me. **Review** or write an email to me if your interested and tell me if you prefer to do it on the DocX thingy or you would like to do it through email. Either way is fine.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, but I do own what ever Lily thinks when in presence of James.

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'_Friday, December 17, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_I am so, so, so, so... so sorry for not writing in you for about... um... 47 days. (wow thats a lot of days) The reason is that I kind of… um... punched my hand into the hard, stone walls of Hogwarts and broke every single bone in my right hand. (By the way, I write with my right hand) Well if you could talk, you would ask, couldn't sweet Madame Pomfrey fix my hand with a flick of her wand? Well... she couldn't, she told me that this type of break can only be fixed the muggle way. (aka putting a cast on my hand and let it heal by itself, which takes a long time to do so) You may also ask why in the hell was I stupid enough to punch the hard, stone walls of Hogwarts? Well… _

"_**Urgh," I screamed in frustration, well you might ask why I was screaming in frustration. Well that day in Transfiguration Class Professor McGonagall, was handing out the tests that we recently taken on Animagi. Well, when Professor McGonagall was passing by my desk she handed me, like always, my test upside down. I quickly flipped it over and on the top of the parchment, there was a big fat red 'T'. 'T' is for troll, which is the worst possible grade ever; I never get trolls on any test, even if it is a Transfiguration grade, most of the time I get... I get an Acceptable. And by some odd luck I got a passing grade on the OWLS in order to take this NEWT level class. Which I have to take in order to become an Auror. **_

"_**Miss Evans, we will need to talk about your recent grades after class."**_

_**In my corner of my eye I saw Sir Dufus Head snickering. I would of turned to him and glare at him, but Professor McGonagall was standing in front of me and I do not want another detention to be added to my semi-perfect record. **_

_"Fine," I angrily said. McGonagall nodded her head and walked on to another student to give them back their test, which was the Dufus himself. McGonagall gave him his paper and he turned to me from across the room and yelled, "Hey, Evans I go an 'O' nanana, I got a more higher grade than the Lily Evans."_

"_**Mr. Black, we need to talk about your immature, impulsive behavior, as well as your incorrect grammar, after class," Professor McGonagall said to Black as she went to the next student. **_

_**I chuckled, and then Black decided to show me his grade, yet again, and childishly stick out his quite long tongue. **_

_Well you might say this event can not cause someone to punch your hand into a hard, stone wall. But what happened after class might. _

"_**Miss Evans I am very concerned with your grades in Transfiguration. You have the potential to do better, however this potential may need a hand along the way. So I have decided that Mister Black, should tutor you in this class-"**_

"_**Do I have to tutor her; it's simply a waste of time my time. I have better things to do," Black whined. **_

"_**Mister Black you know tutoring her will get you out of detentions that I have planned for you for every night of the week" McGonagall's cat like eyes stared straight into Black's black eyes, "and no Hogsmeade weekend, "she paused dramatically, " until the end of the year."**_

"_**But, Professor, he deserves those detentions, anyways why would I want a fool like him tutoring me… Why can't you make someone else do it?"**_

"_**I think Mister Black will be the best option because he is one of two students in my class whom has the highest grade." My jaw dropped, I think I might cry.**_

"_Why does Black have to give me that hand along the way, why can't you make that other person give me that hand along the way. Anyways why would I want to touch Black's dirty hand.__**"**_

"_**Miss Evans my word is final."**_

_**After I stalked out of the classroom, Black followed directly behind me. **_

"_**Hahaha, you have to worst grade in the class. And I have the best." **_

"_**Urgh,"**_ _this is where we began this story, I stopped and turned around and punched him in the face. But my hand was too slow, because he ducked and my fist slammed into the wall. And here I am today, finally writing in you after 17 long boring weeks. Madame Pomfrey told me I couldn't play quidditch until after Christmas break, which is in 4 weeks. She even said I wasn't allowed to fly a broom, after she saw me flying James' broom after practice. Gah, I am so bored, without Quidditch I am like a lifeless zombie. Luckily, James allowed me to watch practices._

_But a least I am able to write in you again, my precious diary whom holds all my secrets that keep bottling up in my head. _

_Oh yah, I forgot to mention what happened to those Transfiguration tutoring sessions with Black. Well it was the first session and it was five minutes into that eventful session…_

"_**Arighty, I want you to," he paused to think," to do my homework, yes do my homework."**_

"_**I am not doing your homework, I can't even write you dumbass, do it yourself. Anyways aren't you suppose to be tutoring me in Transfiguration." **_

"_**Well doing my homework is the tutoring part; while you do my homework I will be attending an appointment with someone in the broom closet." He stood to leave, once he did this I threw, with my good hand, the heavy Transfiguration textbook at his gigantic head. And left him on the library floor, where Madame Pince found him the following morning. **_

_The next time I saw Professor McGonagall I begged her to change my tutor, to someone with more maturity, however she said no. But at the second tutoring session, I turned Sirius into a demented looking, pink-colored cat. And left him as a cat, because well a) I thought he was better off being a cat, and b) I had no idea how to change him back, serves him right. So when Professor McGonagall found out the following morning that I turned Black into a cat. She turned him back to human and Black begged her (he went on his knees) to not, make him tutor me ever again. It upsets me that she listens to him and not me. _

_So, she assigned me a new tutor which is currently is James. He is a much better tutor than Black will ever be, after two tutoring sessions I was able to turn a bunny into a silver cup. Now my Transfiguration grade is an 'E', which is an Exceeds Expectations. James says that if I keep up the good work I maybe able to get an 'O' by next year. I feel so proud of myself. _

_Gee, I am so excited, in 2 more days I will finally be seeing Elizabeth and Harold. And eight days till Christmas. Wow, time is surely going fast. Like the time from when James left for his detention with Professor McGonagall and the time, he has returned which is right now. Write in you as soon as possible. _

_Lily'_

"Back Lils," James said as the portrait closed.

"Apparently," I sighed for no apparent reason.

"Why the sigh, are you not happy that I am back?"

"Why would I?" I jokingly said, "So how was your detention with McGonagall?"

He plopped down in the seat next to me," Ghastly boring, like it always is."

"Oh you never told me why you got a detention? I thought you were going to be good this year and not get any detentions."

"Mhmmm," he nervously ran his manly hand in his unruly soft looking black hair," Don't get made at me Lils, but I hexed Sniv- Snape."

My jaw dropped, I thought he was going to stop hexing him, apparently he didn't learn his lesson last year.

"Lils, I did not hex him for the fun of it. He was taunting me, saying things about my friends. I tried to ignore, but I blew a fuse when he said one thing about Mo-"

"About whom?"

"Never mind," he grumbled.

"Did you just make up that excuse so I wouldn't hear the real meaning of this story? That you hexed someone for the fun of it."

"No, Lils. I am telling the truth, don't you trust me. I would never lie to you."

"Fine, but don't ever hex him again, or I won't see you ever again."

"But you live in my house."

"Fine, I won't talk to you ever again."

"Then you will have no one to talk to."

"I have Bill."

"He turns red every time you talk to him."

"So…"

"He barely can even talk either when he is in your presence."

"So… he can listen to me talk."

"But, can he help you with Transfiguration and listen to all your girly problems."

"I never talk about girly problems."

"Then what is all that talk, 'Ooh I hate her, she is such a slut and a whore.' 'That boy is such a hotty-"

"I never said that boy is such, a hotty."

"Yes you did, remember when yesterday when you were talking about Victory Vane and Amos Diggory."

"I never said hotty," I paused and started laughing," You thought I said hotty, when I said haughty."

Once I finished looking at James I saw a confused look, the same look Sir Dufus Head has on his face 24/7, "What does haughty mean?"

"I thought you were smart, I used to call you that all the time, last year."

"You only said I was arrogant and conceited, but never haughty."

"Haughty means arrogant and conceited."

"Oooh," he ran a hand through his hair, "That makes a lot more sense; I thought when you called me that, last year, I thought you called me a hotty. This made me more arrogant, because I thought you liked me, but then you proved me wrong when you said no to all my invitations for a date in Hogsmeade." A distant, sad look replaced the confused one, which in turn made me sad in the inside. _Oh, James do not think that, I do like you maybe, just maybe love you. But I do not know what love is, I never saw it or experienced it. Oh, James don't be sad, it tears what ever left of my heart into a million tiny pieces, to see you like this. I never actually thought my refusals were going to hurt you, I thought they were all a joke. I wonder what would of happened if I actually had accepted one of your many invitations. But that would of never happened last year because of me being friends with Snape. Snape fed me untrue myths about you, he made me your enemy. Until Snape took the first hit at my heart, making it breakable for my father and Voldemort to destroy. Oh James, my heart has been semi rebuilt because of you, because of your loving actions. I guess you do still love me, because who would of done that for me, if that said person did not love me. _

I felt tears started to well up in my eyes, and slowly fall down my face. I felt my whole body start to shake. I stared at my shaking hands, watching those tears drop down into my hands. I heard someone call my name, but I barely heard him or her. Someone suddenly placed their arms around me, and I fell onto their chest. I felt their hands rub circles into my back trying to calm down, whisper warm soothing words to me. I tried to think of whoever is comforting me but I could not think, I only thought about the pain that I caused James to have and the feeling of someone actually loving me. And possibly me loving them back.

**\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/**

I woke up to the sound of the birds chirping and Sir Dufus Head's loud boisterous voice. I felt dry tears on my face, and someone's arms wrapped around my body, I couldn't see who's because my eyes are still closed. Last night's events came rushing back to me, the realization of the pain that I caused James and the realization of me possibly loving James. I shuddered, I cannot be in love with James, I never been in love with anybody before and he is my best friend. It would ruin our friendship if we ever broke up.

Oh my Merlin, I think I might be still in the common room, and I think that James' arms around my body, who else, other than James knew how to sooth me. I finally opened my eyes and saw that the latter was the only prediction that was true. We were in his bed, the curtains around his bed closed. My head rested against James' chest. I heard his heartbeat, beat a familiar rhythm. I heard a sigh erupt from James' mouth. I looked up to his face, his beautiful face.

"Oh your up," he said as he loosened his grasp around my body, "Sorry, Lils, Sirius is always a morning person the day before vacation."

"It's fine, its Sirius what would you expect."

"But he promised last night that he would not make such a commotion."

"Huh."

"It does not matter; I will just have to kill Sirius once we get back home."

"Can I help?" He chuckled.

"Always, when it comes to hexing Padfoot," he smiled.

From outside James bed, I heard someone talking, "Padfoot, I thought you promised Prongs that you will be quiet this morning." Oh, it was just Remus, reprimanding Sirius.

"Oh, I forgot that Evans was here this morning," Sirius said quite loudly.

"Then shut up."

"I won't Moony, because I will be as loud –"

"Serves you right," I heard Remus quietly say, "Come on Padfoot, I will take the curse off you once we get to the Great Hall, where hopefully some other thing will silence you, and no it is not one of your girl toys."

I heard James chuckle as the door to the room close.

"Maybe Remus will keep that silencing charm on Sirius for the rest of his life." James chuckled even more. I sat up on his bed, sitting Indian styled, while James sat up and leaned against his headboard.

"Maybe," James paused, "Lils, maybe we should talk about why you were crying last night."

"I rather not," I looked at my hands, twisting them in my lap. I felt the bed moved a bit as he moved more close to me. _I cannot let James know that I possibly like or maybe love him._

"It bugs me to see you hide from me like this," I felt his warm hand absentmindedly stroke my face, every time his fingers touched my skin it tingled, " I felt hopeless watching you last night, crying your heart out, I thought I said or did something wrong." Has hand dropped from my face, no don't go, I like the feeling of you stroking my face.

I looked up to him and saw that sad look on his face the night before, "No, James you didn't say or do anything wrong."

"Then what Lils, I want to help you," he begged as his gentle fingers started stroking my hand, the tingling sensation coming forth again. His sad hazel eyes searched my own. Both of these actions caused my heartbeat to quicken, a knot formed in my throat, making me unable to spit out what my heart is telling me to say. To say that I love him, I truly do love him. I wish to tell him this, I really do, but I just can't, as he can't watch me cry, without his own heart breaking. Like my own is doing right now, by not telling him, what I am truly feeling. Maybe I can express my love in a different way that does not require speaking.

My eyes glance at his soft, pinkish lips. My own lips crave his to be on mine. This is the perfect moment to lean in and let my lips succumb his. Telling him how I really feel, but something is holding me back from doing so. An inner conscience is doing so, telling me that it will ruin our friendship, if I do it. But my heart is telling me it is now or never. Oh Merlin, what should I do?

**\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/**

**Author's Note**: Hehehehe, cliff hangers rock. And this cliff hanger will be cleared up once I get 5 or more reviews. Yes, I know I am evil, but I am still an author whom wants to know how she is doing. Please write a **review**, even if it is just a 'hello', 'this story stinks', or an 'I hate you for doing this to me, I need to know what Lily does'. Constructive Criticism is always welcome. Remember that _5 more_ **reviews** before my hit list reaches 30 people will guarantee the next chapter the _next day_. As well as _10_ **reviews** before my hit list reaches _10_, will guarantee the chapter the _same day_ as posted. And if I get like _50_ **reviews** in the _hour_ I first posted the chapter, will definitely guarantee a new chapter _2 hours_ after this one is posted. Hope you **review**.


	11. Chapter 11 non edited version

Author's Note: Sorry about not posting this chapter right away, I didn't exactly write it all out until today. When I got a sudden urge to write because I saw the new trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, it was over a minute long. Gah, I am so excited to see the movie, after seeing the new trailer.

Oh yah, before I forget I am in dire need for a beta, a beta that will actually help me through the story until the last chapter. If there is anybody like that out their please, please inform me in some way about you, either by reviewing or writing a note to me on fan fiction. I forgot what they were called, oops.

Anyways, I will like to say thanks to all of whom **reviewed** the last chapter, which by the way was 6. I would also like to say a special thanks to TaylorxxSue, for going through all the chapters and **reviewing** for all 10 of them. Well enough with me rambling on about **reviewing,** which I hope you all do, after reading this nice conclusion to the cliffy I all left you before.

...

_'Saturday, December 18, 1977_

_Dear Diary, _

_Oh my Merlin, oh my Merlin, oh my Merlin… just one more time… oh my Merlin. I almost kissed James Harold Potter. GAH… why couldn't that of been a daydream or something, not real life. It is not exactly pleasing in the real world to be pestered by James as in why I zoned out on him, in the middle of our 'very' important conversation this morning. And once Black came barging in quite loudly, which got me out of this so called 'fantasyland', I turned bright red and tried to scramble out of the room. I say tried because… well… someone cough Sir Dufus Head cough stupidly left his sheets on the floor, for me to trip on. So right now, I am in the Hospital Wing ignoring James' pestering questions on why I cried hysterical last night. Ooh, I forgot to tell you about that part-'_

"I am getting really bothered that you are not telling me why you started crying hysterical last night?"

"Potter, shut up."

"Now, its back to Potter, I was right," he suddenly looked sad, "I was the reason you cried last night."

"For the millionth time, you were not the reason. Now shut the bloody hell up, before I stab you with this quill."

"Then why did you call me Potter, I thought you were over with calling me by my las- meow"

There before me stood James Potter, as a black kitten… aw, he looks quite adorable.

'_-So I just turned James into a very adorable kitten because he was… um… annoying me. I think I may keep him as a pet, what would Elizabeth say when I bring her son home as a cat… I think she may be happy; she did always want a cat.' _

I felt the James kitten walk onto my lap, I looked up from my page and dropped the quill upon it. I started petting his fur, which is soft as his hair in his human form. He started purring as I did this. Then out of nowhere, he started hissing at me, his hazel eyes turned into slits. He is scaring me I think he might scratch me.

"Evans- I never knew you had a kitten," obviously Sir Dufus Head has walked into a room where he is not wanted and looks like he is about to pounce me. Odd, but he is Black, so odd is an everyday adjective to describe Sirius Orion Black

I laughed, "I don't."

"Then why do you have a hissing cat on your lap." I smile.

"Are you here to annoy me? If you aren't, make yourself useful and go to the kitchens and get me a chocolate."

"Actually I was planning to annoy you, but, I have to ask Prongs something."

"Prongs?" Who is that, it sounds familiar? I know, it is those silly, childish names that the Marauders use to befuddle people, "I mean James."

"Hhmm, he is around here somewhere," a smirk formed on my face as I looked down at the kitten.

"You mean…" Black stuttered as he stared at horror at the kitten. James's eyes brightened up at Sirius's epiphany.

"What?"

"You mean… that the kitten is… "I gulped, frightened at what Black will do to me if he knew that I turned his best friend into a kitten, "a gift from James. How could he buy you such an evil thing?" I sighed. James's eyes turned into slits and hissed very loudly at Sirius's wrong epiphany.

James looked like he was about to pounce Sir Dufus Head, when the Dufus himself said, "I think the cat does not like you."

"No, it does not like you," I said as Sir Dufus Head took a few steps backwards to get away from James the cat, however he didn't get that far, seeing that James is on his face, scratching away.

"AGH, MY BEAUTFUL FACE, IT HURTS," Sir Dufus Head, started to try to pull off the cat off his ugly face. Nevertheless, his efforts didn't prevail, James was still gnawing at his face. Sir Dufus Head then started running in circles.

"No, don't do that Black you are going to hurt the poor innocent kitten," I screamed at Black.

"HOW IS HE BLOODY INNOCENT?" he screamed at me, as he stopped running around in circles, the cat was still scratching," I WILL SHOW YOU INNOCENT."

At the place Sir Dufus Head stood before me, was a big, black, shaggy dog. My eyes widened as my jaw dropped at the sight of Sirius turning into a… a… a DOG. James scurried towards me in fright, as the dog barked rather loudly. The dog started to run after James. Somehow, James jumped up onto my bed and ran into my arms. The dog suddenly jumped onto my be-

"Ooowwww, my ankle, it hurts. Stupid dog, stupid Bla-""Whose stupid?"

Obviously Remus just wandered in, his eyes widened at the sight, before us.

"Grindelwald fucking Dumbledore."

"Nice, Remus, nice. That's a brilliant image to be implanted in my innocent mind."

"Sorry, bloody hell," Remus mouth dropped, "GAH."

The dog stopped chasing James around; he stared at the shocked Remus, then at me. The dog's mouth dropped, as well as James.

"GAH," Remus screamed again. Out of all of this mayhem, why in the world has Pomfrey not seen or heard this yet.

"What's wrong Remus?" I asked eagerly. I stared down at the dog, and the situation dawned on me.

"Grindelwald fucking Dumbledore, Black is a-"Remus's hand quickly covered my mouth.

"Likewise the image is a horrid image to have in my mind," Remus said, I glared at him, "I will, take my hand off your mouth if you do not dare to say what Sirius's current condition." I nod my head; Remus takes his hand off my mouth.

"You know, you all will have to explain Sirius's current condition eventually."

Remus gravely shook his head, as he sat in the bed across from us, "I know," He stared at the dog on the floor, who was still staring at me, "Padfoot, I think it is time to change."

The dog cocked his head at Remus, and turned into Sir Dufus Head, "Your so stupid Sirius, what were you thinking at the time."

"Well I was thinking, how bloody stupid, James was in to giving Evans a bloody stupid cat, as a present," Sirius glared at James.

"That's a stupid reason to reveal your self," Remus paused, "Speaking of James, where the bloody hell is he? On the map it said that he was here, but I don't see him. Lily do yo know where he is?"

I cracked a smile, as I looked down at James the kitten.

I chuckled as Remus said, "Lily, you didn't."

...

'_Sunday, December 19, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_I am so excited; I am literally jumping up and down as I write in you. The reason for this excitement is that in just 4 hours and 16 minutes and 24 seconds and 375 milliseconds I will be seeing Elizabeth and Harold Potter. Gee, I can't wait. _

_Well enough with the excitement, I have some other things to tell you…_

_A seething James Harold Potter is sitting next to me right now. In addition, I have no clue why he is not jumping up and down as I am right now. I have narrowed it down to two choices, it is either he is mad at me because I turned him into a kitten or he is mad at Sir Dufus Head for revealing himself… and no, its not that kind of revealing himself. Sir Dufus Head, revealed that he is an Animagus yesterday. Which surprises me because how a person so um… dumb and lazy able to become something such complex in magic. Well Professor McGonagall claims he is one of the smartest Transfiguration students in her class and um… he is impulsive and 'tries' to be a rebel. So maybe it isn't hard to believe that he has achieved this complex magic. But why in the world would he do something illegal, that could improve his chances to go into Azkaban. He isn't that stupid. _

_All this talk about Sir Dufus Head and Animagus has made me less excited. It has just made me curious even more. I am now wondering if the rest of the Marauders are Animagus as well. James would not do something so positively stupid. Would he? _

_Nah, my question about the rest of the Marauders being Animagus is positively wrong. First of all, Remus would never do something so illegal and second of all Peter is not too smart to do a thing like this._

_Enough with this curiosity, it is driving me crazy. Oh looky, the woman with the candy has come by our compartment._

_Lily'_

...

I am done eating all my sweets and there is 2 hours, 54 minutes, 36 seconds, and 116 milliseconds to go until the train arrives at platform 9 and ¾ and I am absolutely bored. I have no need to write in my diary, and I would rather not talk to the seething James, who as of this moment is glaring at Sir Dufus Head talking to Peter about the slutty girls. I could talk to Remus, but he is reading right now.

So, I am blantly bored, looking at the seething James, and wondering how much I am in love with him. Sigh… I should have kissed him the other day, or at least told him the truth. Maybe if I did, I would have been snogging him in an empty compartment right now. Or maybe I would have been cuddling with him, in this very compartment. While Sir Dufus Head made disgusting glances at our affections towards each-

Remus shut his book rather loudly, which had broken my train of thought, oh well. Sirius and Peter stopped talking. Sirius glanced at Remus and Remus nodded.

"Peter, can you lock the compartment door?" Remus asked. Peter nodded and did what he was asked to do.

"Guys, what's going on?" I gave James a weary look. He was still glaring at Sir Dufus Head.

"Well we are going to explain why Sirius is an Animagus. Actually I am," Remus paused, "You know how- how- how Sirius wants- wants to be a rebel of some sort and wants every female… in the world to pay attention to him- him and touch him." I grimaced, ugh, disturbing image.

"Not in that way, Lily, get your head out of the gutter," Sir Dufus Head laughed.

"Well, he turned into an Animagus, because he thought- thought girls would coo at him when he was in a dog form. He also thought that if he did this illegally- illegally, he would be the master of all- all rebels," Remus quickly said.

"Well that's a stupid reason to become an illegal thing," I paused, "Remus why did you stutter while you said his stupid reasoning. You never stutter when you are speaking. Only Peter does." _When talking to me._

"I did not stutter, "Remus said rather proudly.

"Fine, when you tell me the truth, I will say you did not stutter. Till then, I am saying you did stutter."

"Erg, Lily he is an Animagus and he did it for a reason that none of us Marauders want to speak of as of this moment," James finally got out of his glaring mood.

"But- but, the curiosity will kill me," I yelled at them.

"Then don't be curious," James yelled back at me.

"I can't stop, being curious."

"Didn't you ever hear curiosity killed the cat."

"Well you are a hypocrite. Just yesterday, you were badgering me about why I cried hysterical the other day. And guess what I turned you into a cat."

"So you were going to kill me."

"No-"

"I would of if I did not find out sooner that you were you," Sirius spoke.

"SHUT UP SIRIUS," James and I both yelled at the same time.

"Fine, I can notice when I am not loved," Sirius said as he strutted towards the **locked** compartment door and tried to open the door, without unlocking it.

"WHY ISN'T THIS BLOODY DOOR OPENING," Sirius yelled.

"IT'S BLOODY LOCKED YOU IDIOT," I yelled at Sir Dufus Head.

"Oh." Black said as he unlocked the door and he and the Marauders, excluding James, scurried out of the compartment.

"Maybe I would of stopped being curious if you told me what was going on," James yelled at me.

"Maybe, the truth was something that I can't tell you," my tone of voice lowered.

"I thought you told me everything," James eyes looked downcast.

"Well, some of those things, I can't tell you."

"Like what?"

"LIKE I BLOODY LOVE YOU…"

...

Author's Note: Hehehehe, another cliffy. I just love cliffies they are so worth doing. But this time I won't add on the threat. But I do have to make a threat that will linger in the back of all your minds, if I get less than 3 **reviews**, I won't post the next chapter until after 2008.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and post **reviews**. The review can be anything from a word like 'fantastic' to 'I hate your story, you should never ever write again.' It can also be constructive criticism, which I am in dire need for. Just say something and **review**, it only takes less than 30 seconds to write 'fantastic'. So please, please **review**.


	12. Chapter 12 non edited version

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the wait, I was waiting for my new beta to reply to me. I was impatient and just updated the story anyways without it being thoroughly edited by someone other than myself, if **TaylorxxSue** is reading this author's note, sorry about that. Anyways, if my beta replies to me, this chapter will be edited, and the rest that may come. Remember to **review** once done reading or I won't update the story until after New Year's if I don't get at least 4 **reviews**. Oh ya, thank you to all the 6 **reviewers** who **reviewed** for the last chapter, I really do appreciate it. By the way, this chapter is the longest yet. :) **Note**: _Sorry if the confrontation in the train station seems slow. Just read it, the last diary entry in this chapter, will make the chapter worth the read._

**Disclaimer**: I don't think I really need to write these anymore. But I'll do it anyways, I do not own HP. I just write stories based off the characters.

* * *

Oh my Merlin, I just said that I bloody loved James

_Oh my Merlin, I just said that I bloody loved James. AHHHHHHHH, at least I got that off my chest. But now I have to stare at a dumbfounded James, his chocolaty hazel eyes are wide, his jaw has dropped, a few seconds after I said I loved him. By the looks of his moving mouth, I think he is trying to form a coherent sentence. These fruitful attempts have failed and I haven't heard a peep from him since I said those words, which was 30 seconds ago. Five seconds past and it seems like he is finally coming around to talking._

"You… you…" he stuttered, he nervously ran a hand through his dark black hair, "you… you l… lo... lov… love… love… love… lo-"Before he stuttered one more love I attacked him. How you may ask? With my lips, on his own soft ones. Because of the force of the attack, James fell onto the seat behind him, carrying me with him. His brawny arms wrapped around my waist as my hands worked their way through his delectably soft hair…. _Gah I can't breathe... need air. _

I hastily pull away from his lips, gasping for air. I breathed in fresh air as I slowly open my green eyes to meet his hazel. I lean my forehead on his, a crooked smile forms on his lips. _Sigh, so gorgeous. _

As the seconds past silence fills the train compartment. The silence wasn't awkward, like you would expect what happens after your first kiss. This silence was comforting; when you have, the person you love, muscular arms around your body, their warmth radiating off your skin… Sigh, I wish this perfect moment would last forever, however my wish can't be fulfilled seeing that an eager James broke this bearable silence, "Did you know this moment, is a moment that I have dreamed about ever since my eyes laid upon you?"

"Did you know you taste like chocolate, and I lo-ve chocolate," I plop my lips upon his, eagerly wanting the taste of his chocolate lips upon mine once again.

I lay my head upon his chest; I hear his heart race erratically. _Mhmmm, I wonder why. Maybe it is the same reason why my heart beats erratically as well. _A few minutes past and I feel his arms tighten its grasp around my body. Sigh… this is truly the perfect moment, just James and I alone, snuggling, with none of those so-called Marauders bothering our moment. I feel James's warm breath against my neck, which has created goose bumps on my body and a tingle every time his breath touches my bearskin. Sigh…

"James," I try to turn to face him, but his arms are too tight around me to do so. James released me from his grasp as soon as he saw my struggle, "Mhmmm, yes Lils."

"I was wondering..." I pushed myself away from his chest, and sat up right, "I was wondering, if it was possible if we… um… keep our… _relationshipasecret_?"

His eyebrows raised, "Our what?"a

"Our relationship a secret."

"What do you mean by that?" I stood up from where I sat and started pacing the tiny compartment, "Why are you pacing?"

I stopped pacing in front of James, "I mean, is that I would rather not tell anybody about our current relationship because I wouldn't be able to bear, everybody staring at me and Sirius constant annoyance and stuff… Anyways, it would be fun to do, we get to sneak around, be adventurous." I sat on the seat, very close to James, my knees bent so I sat on top of my legs, "I know you like doing stuff adventurous and spontaneous."

"But… but…" he stuttered, "Fine… I do love an adventure. But for how long do you want to keep it a secret."

"Until someone finds out," I broke out a wide smile. I looked into James's eyes, where a mischievous spark formed.

"Sounds like a plan," James smiled and placed his lips on my own, once again.

* * *

"Where's your mother, Potter?" I asked James as he pulled out my luggage from the train. I know that I have the strength to carry my own luggage. However, I could never turn down an offer of not carrying my own luggage.

"Again with the Potter?" I heard someone ask from behind me. I whipped around and there before me was an older version of James aka Harold Potter.

"Mr. Potter," Harold smiled.

"Haven't I told you, time after time that you can call me by my first name or my nickname?"

"What about Sirius's nickname for you?" James asked as he hugged his father.

"No," Harold took of his glasses and cleaned them with the bottom of his shirt, "Only Sirius is entitled to call me that."

Knowing all to well about Sirius's inappropriate nickname for Harold, I quickly changed the subject to something far more important, the whereabouts of..."Where's Elizabeth, Mr. Potter?" I politely ask.

"What you call her by her first name, and not me?" Harold pouted.

"Where is she?" I whined.

"She is-"Before he could finish, Sirius started yelling, "MOMMA LIZZY BEAR POTTER," I heard Sirius yell. I whipped around and saw Sirius run into Elizabeth Potter aka Momma Lizzy Bear Potter as Sirius would call or yell at her.

"Siri Be-""Please, the ladies are around." He pointed to the group of giggling girls.

"Sir Dufus Head, you already embarrassed yourself, with the ladies," I smirked as Elizabeth released Sirius from her arms and hugged me. She released me and took a step back.

"Something about you Lillian has changed," she said, "Oh I know, your emerald eyes are filled with life." She smiled.

"You know the Diary thing you suggested to me, really helped me," I smiled.

"I suspected," she said, "James Anthony Potter, come here this instant and hug your dear old mother."

"Mum, you are not that old," I heard James say as I stepped away from James's Mummy and stared at them as they embraced each other, "Aww, Jaime you don't have to be so modest."

James flushed at his mother's nickname for him, that I have never heard of before, "Mum," Jaime whined, "Didn't I ever tell you that I despised that name. That I wished that horrible name would burst up into flames and die a horrible death."

"You know you just sounded just like me, Jamie, " I smirked at James horrified look on his face.

"I am not a girl," James quickly said.

"Then why did I once see a picture of you at five years old, dressed up in a dress?" I smirked at Sir Dufus Head question.

" Jamie in a dress, aww, I have got to see those," I laughed.

"Lils, shut up," he is so going to regret saying that to me. No one, can ever shut me up. Expect if they are haggling with chocolate. But still, no one is allowed to take away my talking rights, "Padfoot what photo are you talking about?" James face was red as a tomato, "I don't ever recall ever seeing a photo of me in a dress."

I turned to face Elizabeth, she was hiding a large smile behind her hand. No way, she actually did that to her son. Wicked. Elizabeth caught me staring, "Oh look, I Remus's mother. I better go say hello."

Elizabeth scuttled over to Remus's mum. Remus's mum is a pretty woman for her age, she is short and cruvy. She has thick, short brown hair. Standing next to her was a thin little boy with golden hair. Wonder who he might be? Remus stood next to his mom, trying to rub off the red lipstick prints covering his face. Either he made out with a girl _Which I doubt, I have never seen Remus with a girlfriend yet. Maybe he is sneaking around with one. Oh the horror_! or his mother attacked him with her red lips. Remus caught me staring at him, his face flushed.

"Oh, bloody hell," James grumbled, I whipped my head back to James and his current mental frustration, "The picture is real."

"Sadly, son, it is," Harold sighed.

"If it was then why did you show it to Sirius of all people," he whined again, what is he a two year old.

"He-" "I found it, in Harry Potty's desk draw." I really do have to get out of here, before I change my mind about James maturity level. Elizabeth would know what to do with the boy of hers.

"Why did you bloody leave it in -- hey, Lils where are you going?" I stopped walking and turned around.

"Why do I need to tell you where I am going? It is a free country," I lashed out.

"What did I do to you this time?" James smacked his forehead, "Stupid, stupid, stupid..." I raised my eyebrows.

"Honey, what are you doing?" Finally, Elizabeth has returned.

"Killing his remaining brain cells," I rambled... awkward silence. Why is their an awkward silence.

"So, are we all ready to go now?" Harold asked breaking the awkward silence.

"Wait-"I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and Bill was standing their. His cheeks tinged red. Behind him was his family. They all had the same red hair like Bill had, "I wanted to give you a gift."

In his hands was two gifts, one in a nice wrapped box and the other in a badly wrapped clump.

"But it isn't Christmas yet."

"I'll take it if you don't want it," Sirius said.

"No, it's for Lily not you," Bill turned to me and handed the gifts to me, "Have a nice Christmas, Lily, James."

"What about me?" Sirius whined.

"You have a nice Christmas as well," I bent down and kissed Bill on the cheek. He turned bright red.

"Aww, Lils, you are embarrassing the kid," James grinned. Bill smiled and ran back to his family.

* * *

'_Thursday, December 23, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_Sorry I have not been writing in you recently. Its just I have been really, busy. I won't go into detail but James, I snogged on the train 4 days ago, and ever since we have been a couple. But we are not telling anybody that we are a couple. So for the past 3 days, James and I have been sneaking around. It is a good thing that James has that invisibility cloak of his, it makes things a lot easier. _

_Anyways, I am in my room in the Potter's house right now. I feel like just yesterday that I walked into this house for the first time, during the summer. Feeling scared, alone, and hurt…_

"_**Good Mourning, Lillian," one of the nurse's who cared for my, came into my room at St. Mungos. The nurse was very pretty; she had long, wavy brown hair and nice hazel eyes. That reminded me of someone else's eyes, but I couldn't place it in my mind who had eyes like. She her hazel eyes stared at the wooden clipboard that she held in her pale hands, "I think you will be able to go home today."**_

_**Tears formed in my eyes, the nurse noticed, "You don't want to go home?"**_

_**I shook my head, "I don't have a home anymore." I whispered.**_

"_**Don't you have a sister," she asked.**_

_**I stared at the pastel colored blanket over my body and fiddled with a loose thread, "My sister doesn't want me." The tears that built up in my eyes came pouring down. **_

_**I felt her petite body sit on the edge of my bed, she wrapped her hands around my body. I cried in her shoulder, while she rubbed my back, soothingly. She was trying to calm me down, like my mo-ther used to do. I picked up my head from her shoulder and looked up to her face. She weakly smiled.**_

"_**Everything's going to be alright, hun," she said as she wiped the tears away with a soft tissue.**_

"_**How do you know?" **_

"_**Everything happens for a reason," she handed me a new tissue, "And you becoming my patient, is one proof that everything happens for a reason. Normally I wouldn't do this, but I guess you can be an exception."**_

"_**What?" I whispered. But this time she didn't hear me.**_

"_**I will have to contact Dumbledore to ask him if it is alright."**_

"_**Ask me what?" Dumbledore suddenly appeared. Like he always does when someone is in need of him. He strides in, his long beard swaying as he walked. I looked into his blue eyes, expecting a familiar sparkle in his eyes it was not there, "Miss Evans. How are you feeling?" **_

"_**Fine," I quietly said, my eyes gazed down once again to the blanket with the loose thread. **_

"_**Albus can I have a quick word with you?" Dumbledore nodded and Elizabeth gently got up from the bed. She quickly reassured me that she will be right back and she left with Dumbledore. She left me alone, alone with my only source of comfort, my dangerous thoughts… **_

…_I don't really remember what happened in-between Dumbledore saying that I was going to stay with the Elizabeth's family and me going there. I do remember…_

…_**I stared up in awe at the most beautiful house… no mansion-like house, I ever seen. It looked as old as those late 17th century cottages I saw with my… family when I was young. Tears started to well up in my eyes; I was never going to see my mother or my father again, in the house that I have lived in for my entire life. **_

"_**What's wrong, Lily?" Elizabeth asked. **_

"_**Nothing," I quickly said, trying to cover up any emotion.**_

"_**If you don't want to tell me what's wrong, it is fine with me. But eventually you will need some one to talk to," she said as she opened the door. She flicked her wand and my luggage followed us as we walked into this amazing house. My luggage than flew up the stairs, leaving me alone with Elizabeth. We walked into what I believe was the most amazing living room I have ever seen. **_

"_**Sit, Lily," she warmly gestured to the brown couch facing the fireplace, I sat down on the couch, staring at the antique wooden coffee table, covered with pieces of parchment and empty boxes of chocolate frogs and some other candies. **_

"_**Sorry about the mess," Elizabeth said, "My son told me he would clean it up, but no avail."**_

_**I stared up at her and then saw what she was talking about. On the other side of the couch, there was a quaffle and some other quidditch things. On the floor by the black framed, French doors were two muddy broomsticks. One of the broomsticks looked vaguely familiar; it had some initials that I couldn't make out on the handle. **_

"_**They're going to be in so much trouble," she growled as she flicked her wand and cleaned up the muddy footprints of the wooden floor. **_

_**  
As she cleaned I looked around the room, the walls of the room were a cream colored. Hanging from said walls, were pictures of landscapes and people. None of them moved like the ones in Hogwarts does. The French doors they have, opened up to a patio, with a nice garden. The sun shone through windows that were like the ones that the cottages had in the late 17th century. **_

_**I felt the warmth of a fire lit up, "Harold must be coming home." I heard Elizabeth mumble as she cleaned. **_

_**A man stumbled out of the fire. He wore robes, as the Aurors wore when they came to my- house. But their robes were far more clean than his were, his were covered with soot. Actually, his whole body covered with soot, his glasses was crooked and covered with soot. He dusted himself off a little; he took off his glasses, and cleaned them with his sooty robes. Which made them even sootier," Lizzy, I think it is time to clean the fireplace again."**_

"_**You think," she growled as she glared at the sooty mess he was making. She flicked her wand and all of the soot was gone. Finally, I saw was under the sooty man. He was a handsome man for his age. His skin was tanned and he had unruly black hair. His eyes were a vivid blue behind his circular black glasses that reminded me of the Mediterranean Sea. He reminded me of someone that I can't place my finger on. **_

"_**Remind me to never take the flo-"Elizabeth's husband finally saw me," Hello, my name is Harold Potter." He said charmingly, my eyes widened. Oh my Merlin, I am at Potter's house. That is why everything looks vaguely familiar to me. He haw, he haw, I loathe him, he haw. **_

"_**Is she all right?" Harold Potter asked his wife. **_

"_**Well, in her state she may be prone to emotional outbursts."**_

"_**How can you say may be? You're a healer for crying out loud," Harold raised his voice.**_

"_**I am not a psychologist," she yelled. Tears stung my eyes; this is how that night started. My mother fought with my father and both ended up – dead. I placed my hands over my face and started to cry. **_

"_**See what you've done. You made her cry," Harold said sadly.**_

"_**You mean, we made her cry," Elizabeth came to me and sat down next to me," Shhh, Lily everything is fine. There is no need to cry." She rubbed circles into my back. The tears halted after a few minutes. I looked up, Harold stood next to the couch, and he held a tissue box. **_

"_**Need a tissue?" He crookedly smiled. Oh my Merlin, he has the same crooked smile as Potter. But his smile is less arrogant than his son. I nodded, he handed me a tissue.**_

"_**Thanks." **_

"_**No problem," he placed the tissue box on the clean, wooden coffee table. Next to the tissue box was today's Daily Prophet. Harold picked up the newspaper and sat down on the light blue chair next to the brown colored couch. **_

"_**Harold, before you tune us out, I have some important news to tell yo-" Elizabeth sweetly said.**_

"_**You aren't pregnant, I can't handle another James," Elizabeth shook her head, Harold's sea blue eyes widen, "Oh Merlin, James knocked her up." **_

_**Elizabeth's hazel eyes widened, "No Har-"**_

"_**Prongs knocked up whom?" a voice said from behind me, that sounded like Sirius Black's. I sharply turned around and there stood Black, smirking like an idiot, "Woah, Prongsie got into Lily Evans's knickers. I thought the day would never come. I am so proud of my boy." Black placed his tanned hand over his chest. I raised an eyebrow. **_

"_**You're an idiot Black."**_

"_**Oh Merlin," I heard Harold say, I turned to him. He was standing up from his chair, "That's Lily Evans." Elizabeth nodded, "Do you know who you brought home Lizzy?"**_

"_**Lillian Evans." **_

"_**No I mean… that you brought your son's love of his life home." My eyes widened, his family was on to his little scheme of pretending to be in love with me. **_

"_**He never mentioned he had a love of his life," Elizabeth jumped up. **_

"_**Harry Potty, you were never supposed to tell Momma Lizzy Bear Potter, that Prongsie had a love of his life."**_

"_**I am not his love of his life," I finally spoke.**_

"_**Well, for once in your life Evans, you are wrong," he jumped over the couch and sat where Elizabeth just sat before she left me alone. As soon as he did this, I moved as far to the end of the couch as possible.**_

"_**How is that possible, Black?" I growled. I was annoyed, peeved, scared, and tired I was not in the mood in dealing with the idiot or any of the other Marauders. I could possibly deal with Remus. If only if he was here, I like him. He is nice; maybe I could tell Remus to tell the brats to back off me, because I just lost my parents or something. **_

"_**Try living with him and his constant whining of why he can't get you or his constant daydreaming of getting in your knick-," Sirius smirked as he edged closer to me. Elizabeth noticed, "Sirius, don't you see you are bothering her. Manners please, she has just lost her parents."**_

"_**Then why are you here, why don't you go to Snivilly for comfort?" Tears welled up in my eyes; I looked down at my pale, cold hands. Severus Snape, is not my friend anymore, in my greatest time of need, he wasn't there to help me. Because he had joined the reason why my parents are dead, why my sister hates me so much, and why I was raped. Sure, he wasn't the rapist, but he could have done something to prevent it. **_

"_**I am not bloody friends with him anymore. You were there when it happened, when he called me a... a Mudblood," I stood up from the couch,"You and your stupid group of friends were the reason that I have no friends anymore," Tears were starting to stream down my face, "Why, nobody came to comfort me when I was in my greatest pain." I chocked out, "Go to hell, Black." I ran out of the room, leaving a shocked Harold and Elizabeth and a clueless Black. **_

_**I didn't care where I was going. I just wanted to get out of that room, where Black sat snickering, as he was prone to do, when he got into a one-sided verbal fight with me. **_

_**Tears were still rolling down my face when I ran into someone. Their body felt tensed, their heartbeat quickened and then after 30 seconds, the unknown person relaxed. The unknown person wrapped their warm, muscular arms around my cold body, holding me to their warm chest. I don't even care who is holding me, I just needed some comfort, some warmth, and some love. Not the coldness I have been feeling since the day my heart broke. **_

* * *

**Author's Note**: I am so upset that I didn't put a cliffhanger this time. Unless you are the one of few people who has no clue who Lily ran into, then its a cliffhanger for you. Remember to **review**, or I won't update the story until 2009. Before I forget, thank you **_Minnesodagirl _**for suggesting the idea for this chapter and the next, back in her **review** for chapter 6. It took over 8 months, to finally write that idea into the story, but it is finally here. If you want to suggest an idea like **_Minnesodagirl_** did just write a **review** about how you liked, hated, or thought it was horrible and it should be, run over with a _silver Volvo_. Then add your idea to the end or the** review**. Thanks. I am finally finished rambling, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until the next chapter,

Dani1692


	13. Chapter 13 non edited version

Author's Note: I know its a short chapter. And probably grammatically incorrect. At least I wrote something. READ THE 2ND AUTHOR'S NOTE. IF YOU EVER WANT TO GET A NEW CHAPTER.

Snow had fallen last night, instead of the torrential rain storm that usual accompanies the torrential tears after a night of crying. Instead of walking on the wet gravel, my foot was pressing into the white snow, ruining its tranquil beauty. Its innocence, just like how Voldemort did to my own. He stamped on it, crushed the snow of my innocence in those dog days five or so months ago. Those days seem ions away, it seems like I can't taste those days anymore. Those hot, humid days of summer, where I would come home, my long red tresses filled with chlorine to two smiling parents. My mom would be in the kitchen the window wide open pouring four glasses of lemonade into the tall glasses. The fourth glass of lemonade would always end up in the sink. My sister would disappear, when I appeared. My dad would sit at the table fanning himself with his makeshift fan made out of the remnants of today's newspaper. With a big smile in his face he would ask me how my day was. I wish those days were still here. I just wish….

I feel a hand slivers against my back. I glance at my companion next to me, James. An inappropriately timed smile was among his face, we where at the cemetery. A place where tears should be flowing down peoples faces and not wide gorgeous smiles. But I guess he is trying to make me happy. Instead of in this depressed stature, that I have been all morning. Even Sirius even tried to make me laugh, by hurting himself by walking into a wall. No laugh, just more tears. Elizabeth brought out the nutella and made crepes for me. But no happiness over bubbled my soul. Just a tiny bubble appeared for a moment before it was pierced by the tears of my family.

James pulled me against him, his warmth radiating against my cold skin.

"Geesh, Lils, your freezing."

"I'm warm now," I small smile appears on my face as I look up to him.

"Good, good," suddenly something caught his eyesight. I tried to see what he was looking at before he pulled me over to the other side of the graveyard.

"What?"

"There's a strange man in front of your mother's grave."

"How do you know it was my mother's grave?"

"I came with you last time."

"How do you know this man is bad then?"

"He's wearing a black cloak."

"We wear black cloaks." "We wea-" "Yah I know we wear black cloaks."

"Then I am going, I am cold and I want to see my god dam parents."

James' hand leaves my back as I walk towards my parents' grave. No strange man in sight.

As I turn into their aisle, "Lily…" a familiar voice says. I quickly turn around the strange voice wasn't James' but rather….

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the wait and the shortness of the chapter. I just wanted to get something out there to let you all know I am still alive I have just been really busy. And I have had a serious case of writers block, and I believe this story has no direction. So if you want this story to continue you will all have to review. I am not bluffing at all this time, I mean you will seriously have to review or this story will be on hiatus forever. To all of those devoted fans know how long they had to wait for this short chapter. Months. So here is the deal, I need help with developing the plot, and ideas to make the plot as well. I sort of have a direction, but I have no one to consult with. So if you review with your input I will consider you and you will also take up the responsibility of taking this story and finishing it if I ever decide that I can't finish it.


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Readers,

I'm deeply sorry to say this, but I no longer have the motivation to continue this story. I haven't updated in over 2 years due to several reasons. I did have a direction that I wanted to take the story to, but alas the foolish way I wrote it inhibited me from doing so in the correct manner. As I look back at my writing, I realize how horrible the whole story was. I feel as if I approached a subject that I was not familiar with, rape, and wrote it as if it was nothing. I should have not done so.

A word of advice to any struggling authors out there: Write what you know well. And if you don't know it, do it. Unless its something like rape or murder which I heavily advise against. All you ought to do to become a better writer is to live. We all make foolish imaginary stories in our head to make up for things we don't have. However, when we get them its not as glamorous as you thought it was. To make a great peace of writing I would go to the truth and stop imagining. There are a lot of stories out here on the fan-fiction universe that encourage foolish imaginings of romance, like my own. Life does not happen this way. Nowadays, I strive to find gritty (as in what real life is really) stories about Lily and James. I find them to be as magical as the fluffy stories. The story of Lily and James should inspire. Although J.K. Rowling hasn't yet revealed much about these tragic lovers, I feel there story deserves to be as great as there son's. That's why I have stopped writing. I believe that my story does not match my own standards. I know that fan-fiction pieces do not have to really follow the terms set out by J.K. Rowling, but I feel as if its my own duty if I was going to the AU route that I was going to make it great, no alright.

However, this story might be ending. I will be creating a new story. I have decided to take the direction that I originally planned to go with this story without the rape of course. Its still in the planning stages, which I never really had with LBD (Hah. I just realized in acryonm form it also stands for little black dress. Very interesting.) But I will give you all my fateful readers the jist of what is going to occur:

It begins with the end of 5th year, with the scene that I hope everybody is familiar with Due to the familiarity and the clichédness that scene has become in this world I will not actually start then. I will hint to it, it will actually begin once Lily gets back from that year, all sad that she lost her best friend, but happy to be finally be home. The loss of her best friend starts is just the beginning of the series of unfortunate events that occur to her. Her world is turned upside-down. The leather bound diary will still make an appearance in the story along with the whole gang. This time though, I will write about what I do know and stay away from what I do not know. Making a better overall story.

Hopefully, I will have enough confidence to finish my plans off and write the first chapter. Time will tell if this project will ever come about for you all to see.

Thank you readers for doing your job: reading. 

See you next time.

Dani


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